Burning mind and Body
by 7Kojo1998
Summary: The death of the mother effected the youngest more than anyone and left more than one type of scars. Life keeps getting worse for this broken family and the youngest boy can't get back to normal when his life keeps getting worse. Non-con. Amazing Dean and John.
1. Chapter 1

The death of the mother effected the youngest more than anyone and left more than one type of scars. Life keeps getting worse for this broken family and the youngest boy can't get back to normal when his life keeps getting worse.

Dean 15

Sam 9 at the beggining of the story.

Dean ran around there garden playing football with their mother. Sam was trying to catch up but he is so small and skinny he just couldn't no matter how hard he tried. He slowly came to a stop and looked up sadly at his mother and big brother playing together. He let out a sad breath and dropped to the floor, upset that he was just to little to play as well. They all liked to go on hunts but they put a lot of effort into making sure that they have a good family life as well.

"Hi, Sammy" He heard a husly voice saying his name from behind him, making him jump. He spun round fast to see his daddy looking down at him with a huge grin that went from ear to ear.

''Daddy!" Sam jumped into to his dads big arms and hugged him close. He squeezed tightly in he's arms, it was to express his affection.

John let out a small laugh at the bundle of love in his arms. Well, it sounded more like a chuckle. ''whats the matter? Why you sat down here?" he said as the smile fell from the little boys face and dropped onto the ground.

"I'm to small dad. I can't play with them. There to fast for me and im just to baby." He spoke with a huge sad face looking down at himself. A small tear ran down his face but was quickly wiped away with Johns big hand.

Sam looked up at his father to see a big smile. ''You may be small now, Sammy, but i have a feeling you will be one of the biggest boys one day and, then you will run faster than any other boy. You just need to wait a little longer. Good things come in time, huh?"

Suddenly, a massive smile appeared on the young mans face as he looked a his daddy. "No way daddy. I'm always going to be smaller tha Dean."

"I'm not to shore, bud" He stated as he handed his hand to pick the young teen up. Sammy toke it in his small hand and got pulled up, smiling wide at each other.

"Dad! Sammy! Come over here and play!" Dean called sniffered and jogging over to them.

John picked them both up in his big strong arms and started spinning around with them. They both couldn't hold back their laughter as they suddenly stopped and got put down to the hard floor. There was little time to get away beofre massive hands went to his stomach and he quickly got tickled.

Soon the mother appeared and started laughing at her perfect family before her. She sometimes wondered what she had done so right to end up with such a perfect picture family, but could never stop to question it for to long. She didn't have time with two small boys.

giggling to herself she managed to say, "Come on John, let them go."

They all looked up at their beautiful mother smiling.

"Ok, mummy" John mimicked the boys, laughing as they all got up and went into a big hug.

They were always thiss type of family. Close, generous and friendly with each other all hours of the day. You could never walk past them without thinking 'Wow! i wish they were my family!' It's hard to believe but it was just the rib they were sending out. They were protective and loving, maybe embarrasing. However, if they were being completely honest, they didn't care becuse it meant they loved each other. people would even do to decribe them as perfect, in every sence of the over though, it was hard to decribe a family like this, so in the dictionary it say under perfect 'absoultutly complete or having all the required or desirable elements. Yea, that meaned about right...

John picked up Dean as Mary picked up Sammy. With their free hands they went into a small side hug. They all froze like that for a couple minutes like they were taking an invisable photo. The beautiful, peaceful silence lasted five seconds untill young Sammy started to wiggle around like a fish out of water.

John and Mary started to moved away and put their babies down and grabbed each others hand to replace him with each others love.

" How about we go back to the park and play together on the field." Dean suggested to his small family.

Sam started to jump up and down with excitement at that. "YES! Please mamma! PLEASE!" He yelled still bouncing.

"I think that's an amazing idea." Mary said gentle to her young boys and husband.

''You two go ahead and we will catch up. Just watch each other and were your going. " The boss of the family said smiling down preciously to his most wonderful creations.

''Ok, dad!" He only just made out because they were running away together.

They were the type of family that would have remembered once they left someone's house and kept everyone smiling for moments after they had left the room. What could they say? They were lucky to have each other.

The parents just smiled to themself as they watched their children playing. They always found it beautiful how close they were and how they would help each other. Like, such as, Sam always struggle climbing and running, so dean would slowdown or give him a push up. Sammy was always amazing at maths, so he would help dean with homework. John and Marry always found that funny because sam was years younger but there children were amazing so never questioned it too much.

A long as they were happy and healthy, who could complain?

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9 months later...

It was a peaceful night. A normal night.

Wide was blowing through the trees and the dark sky was brightened with stars. House was silent with snores as they slept soundly in their rooms.

Suddenly, the fire alarm rang into the parents ears, waking them up to a hush reality of bright, hot flame. It was so loud that you could hear nothing else but the really loud ear drum busting beeps.

Panic!

Marry was the first to notice the heat and burning light as she opened her eyes quickly. She looked at the flames for a secend untill her addreniline kicked in and she jumped up and turned to her husbend.

"John! John! get up, now!" she said rapidly to her husband forcing him awake.

As soon as he opened his eyes into a scwint, he sore the progreing flames near the TV and celin. The smoke that cuvered him like a blanket was making it nearly imposible to even see to the door. It was all going like a whirlwind. This couldn't be real.

They both quickly got out of bed and ran to the door, trying there best to cuver each of there faces.

"Mary! Get Sammy and i will get Dean. Meet out front and stay low so you dont breath in to much smok!." He shouted to his love. They both nodded as he they both said their final 'i love you'. If only they knew...

John ran to his oldest sons room to find him crumpled up in a ball in the corner of the room in fludes or tears. He racked with fear as the wild creature of fire refused to be tamed or settle. It was growing more and more crazy and dangerous by each second of the night.

Flames engulfed the crumbling house, spreading their boiling rage through everything in their way.

Wasting no time, he grabbed the small child in his arms and embraced him close to his chest trying to cover his mouth and nose with hisz fabriced shirt. Without saying anything, he ran as fast as he could out the house, dodging all the harsh red flames around him.

By the time they got into the front garden, there was a fire truck pulling up to the house. Men ran to the father and son to make sure there was no serious injury. Both men and boy were just yelling for their family to come out safe and alive.

One male fire fighter went up to the ecstatic family member and spoke quickly, asking, "Is anyone in there?!"

"M-my wi-wife and baby b-boy" He said sobbing, holding his son close to his chest, and not planning on letting go any time soon. As soon as he said that two men ran quickly into the burning home.

"Ok. we will do are best to get them back sir, but you need to step back and let the paramedics look at you and your son."

He heatedly nodded, getting pushed back .

In the house Mary was trying to fight her way way through the burning monsters that were attacking her. Then the tingling, horrible smell of smoke flud up her nostrils. She couldn't see anything through the ocean of death, it was so hazy. It was hot and sweat was dripping down her chest into her burning skin. She needed to save her baby before the hammerous powers of the golden and crimson flares swalloe him up also. He was hurting and her skin was burning of but she had to keep fightening for her family.

Ruthlessly

The unwithstandable scent of smoke melted through her nostrils. Scorching and sweltering in the burning hot fire.

Suddenly, when she was about to give up and die, she heard a loud "Help me!" that was followed by a white hot ageny scream and muffeled cries. That alone gave her the energy to fight back and try her best to get to her baby, but it was all to much and soon she had no choice in what she was doing and the loud crys got blocked out by hers.

...

...

Author note:

I hope you like the story. It's my first real try to write a story like this and it still needs a little work and I need some help so if you have any suggestions or any part I will be so happy, so please drop a comment or review.

P.S- I am very dyslexic so there is always going to be some little mistakes but I wont be offended or anything if you tell me.

Thank you :)


	2. Chapter 2

Eyes well up as they heard a sound escape from the house. It sounded like a thunderous scream from Sammy's room!

"Sammy!" Dean yelled and tried to run to buring house before his father grabbed him and held him close.

Outside 10 minutes later,John and Dean were both sat on the back of the impala, staring into the destroyed home, waiting for one thing... their family.

Suddenly, two fire fighters ran out of the house holding something in their arms. Could it be them? oh god!

John quickly sat Dean on the side of him and ran screaming to get to his wife and son.

Dean was paralyzed with fear and guilt. He was thrown to the ground and was totally unable to function anymore. Why didn't he just go and find Sam as soon as he woke up? He knew were he was and that he must have been so scared. He didn't want his brother to die. Defiantly not like this, hurt, crying and in pain.

"Mary! Sammy!" he repeated as he got stopped by a police man "let me go! PLEASE! They need me!" John screamed trying his hardest to get free from the man in the way of the people he loves. "Mary hunny answer me. PLEASE! SAM! They need me!" He bawled trying to plead for them to allow him to see his family. However, all he felt was a bruised shoulder from where they were trying to hold him back.

He was hysterical sobbing and just wanted to have his perfect picture family in his arms again. Just wants to wake up my Mary in the park and He her telling him off for falling asleep again on the bench.

He would give anything.

The fire fighter placed the body onto the ground and only sore one body. His son.

He was practicly black and red from the burns. It feelt like being in the grip of inevitably, and one is reminded of his own mortality as well. It is the recognition that one's life is changed forever, indeed somehow diminished. He wanted to get the sight of his son out his mind forever.

The paramedicss got to him before he could and he was quickly taken before he could fight of the poilce that were trying to hold him back.

"Look, sir." He looked at the man once the young boy was shut of in the ambulance and taken. "I'm so sorry, sir. You wife was found as well but she was to fare gone to be saved."

He took a breath and looked around to see his boy stand there next to him. "Daddy? She gone?" The man nodded as his eyes started running. He couldn't describe this feeling. Kind of like a feeling of anger, for which there is no salve save time.  
It is very painful. It feels like the sun will never shine again because at that moment he didn't even care if it did.

By the time John and Dean got to the hospital everything they ever knew had changed and they had no hope of ever getting it back.

The world has collapsed but only leaving only them standing.

It was like a flame has burnt through everything they believed in and demolished all that's true. His wife was gone. His youngest son was on a machine keeping him breathing.

He has lost what made his family what it was. She is gone and never, ever coming back. It was on a repeat in his muddled mind.

"Dad, where is Sammy?" Caught him out of his day-dream. He quickly looked down at his oldest. He was sat anxiously in a chair that made him look innocent and tiny. He sat next to the bed that swallows a lifeless sam.

"What?" He said a bit harshly.

"Where is Sammy? We need him to come back, he gets scared when he is lost or alone." The big brother stated, worriedly grabbing the hand of his baby brother.

John looked at the ground. Slowly he opened his mouth to answer his confused son, when the door opened. Behind it was a concerned Bobby and a tall looking doctor with a serious face.

"Bobby!" Dean ran to his uncle and court him in a tight hug. "Shes gone forever, uncle Bobby" The boy said sadly, eyes welling up with a million tears. Dean felt like someone had taken a hammer to his heart. He was always happy, he had a amazing family, so this was a knew feeling he didn't understand.

"I know, son." he answered back hugging tight. He had to breath through the pain he felt so he could be there for his family. He had no time for grief.

"I would like to go over the injures of Samuel Winchester if that's ok?" The doctor were all weighting for John for an answer. They carried on weighting... but there was still no answer. Bobby knew that it just wouldn't happen so he nodded for the doctor to carry on.

"Ok well, he seems to be doing good and we all feel he will carry on improving once he wakes up." a breath of relief covered the room. He will be fine. "However, there are over things we need to consider. He has a large burn on his arm and shoulder that will scar. He will be fine physical, but mentally, we won't know untill he wakes. He lost his mother and was probably terrified when he was stuck in that house. He is a young boy and these things will leave more than just the scars we can see when you look at him. He breathed in a lot of smoke, that's why he is on the ventilator. We don't think from the scans we did that he has any long-lasting damage from the smoke but wont now for sure untill be wakes. You have any questions?"

They looked around the room scared of what the future may have installed for this broken family.

They all had so many questions they needed the answer to, but not questions the doctor could anser for them.

Dean was so scared for when his brother woke up, but at the same time he just wanted him back. Does waking up from a long coma feel different from waking up from a several-day long coma? Or even a long night's sleep? Would he "feel" longer than the other in his different world? How is his brother feeling and thinking right now?

...

The next day was an overwhelming and horrible for the family.

Bobby had to hold Dean's hand as they went to bury a body that once held their mothers beautiful soul. He had to drag John away from the chair next to Sammy so he could attend the funeral for his beloved wife.

It was hard for them all to leave the hospital because the only hope they had of surviving this tragedy was on a ventilator.

They sat there in the funeral parlor and was dressed in black in a dark room field with hard ache. Dean couldn't understand why this had anything to do with his mommy. It was all very depressing and sad but his mommy was always happy no matter what.

John stood up at the funeral to say a couple of words about how beautiful wife.

"Mary," he said as his eyes became week and full of tears.

"My spirit, my inspiration and my strength. It was 10 years ago, a simple sunny Saturday afternoon when we had our first glance through out common friend. We had many great years together and should have had so much more. So much more days to take are kids to the park , so much more nights so you could sing to sleep are babies, so much more beautiful creations that we should have raised together in a house with a dog that we would walk as a family every night."

By this time his eyes were flooded and big tears were running down his face by the hundred every second he stood there.

"These were the dreams we spoke about when you were pregnant and grumpy because your feet were swelling. I hope you always knew how much you will be missed by our broken family. I once had been sent a gift by God; An angel who watched over me and take care of me. And no you will watch over us all for the rest of out gave me so much and you left the best creations in the world. Just please don't take Sammy with you because I don't know what i will do if i have to do this again. "

John nearly collapses on the floor in front of everyone, but Bobby quickly pulled away from Dean and pushed himself up to the front to help John back to Dean, They hugged until they had to leave. "Untill i see you again my love. I will be waiting."

Dean didn't understand what was going on. His brother was asleep and wouldn't wake up no matter how much he shock him. His daddy was sad all the time and angry at everyone and his mommy was gone forever. No more singing to sleep and no more comfort hugging on the sofa on movie nights. It was all changed and will never go back to normal.

They didn't think they were ever going to stop crying ever again.

There was many tears and heart ache that day but it was time to say goodbye.

They all had to listen about how sorry everyone was for them and how much they wished Sam back to health. Dean felt every bitter about it because he didn't know anyone here. Why do they get to feel bad and upset when they didn't los their family, he did.

After half an hour they had spoken to everyone and decided it was better for them all to just go back and see Sam.

Dean was worried he was scared. "We need to go back to him dad. He doesn't know what's happening."

John new better. Sam wasn't scared. He was alone in his silent mind and couldn't feel or think. Sam probably will never wake up or be scared again, but he coud never tell Dean that so he nodded and smiled sadly.

"Okay buddy. Tells go see Sammy." He was nearly in hysterics but he had to hold it back so Dean wouldn't see. He had to be stong for his boys. However, Bobby could see right through it and put a hand on his shoulder.

"We will get through this John."

They all sobbed in the car and just tried to hide it from each other. To scared to feel less strong or to set a bad role model. It wa too much to handle the thought of them being gone forever.

Till death do us part...

They went back to the hospital they had come to think of as home for the past couple days and just watched their youngest breathing. It was calming to see him alive and breathing, even if he looked dead.

It didn't matter that it was only the ventilator breathing. All they knew is it gave them hope.

Dean held onto his baby brothers hand and his tears would fall into Sam's small hands and shinned on the white hospital floors untill his father or uncle ould come alone and just hug him.

John waited holding his son's hand and stars down to check or detect a movement or clutch of any kind to give them a warning of him coming back to life anytime soon.


	3. Chapter 3

The days went slow and was disstressing.

On day 1-5, they told Sam's family he would not survive.  
On day 6-9, they said he might survive, but would be a vegetable for life.  
On day 10-12, brain activity began to return, but prognosis was not look good.

Many months past. Sam woke up confused and was told about his mother and now didn't really speak. He woke up, it was like he was under water. There was no concept of time when he woke up, and his thoughts had to reorganize.

However, the worst thing was when he remembered the intense flames and the yellow flames flickered and danced with no thought of the oxygen or the fuel they consumed on their way.

He could remember the flames growing hot and filled his small room with their wrath and fury, he could remember the new-born flames licked the booksz on his desk, adding fuel to the fire.

Although, the thing he remembered the clearest was the ear piercing screams of his mother that he could hear through the breaking walls. That will hount him the most out of that dreedful day.

He felt peaceful. He am no longer afraid of death. In any other situationss that is great but when your depresed... it was deadly. Everyone at the hospital said it was a miracle he suvived. He called it a curse.

He could never manage to push out words through-out the month he stayed in that blue and white room. He could bearly look at his family becuse he thought it was his thought she died. If it wasen't for him, she could have left the house with his father and would be here to hold his hand and sing him to sleep when he had the harsh nightmares about the visues flames.

A day would always go by, Dean waking him with a kiss on the head and Sam jumping before be shaked away from him.

"I love you buddy. Good morning" Dean said nearly crying. Sam sat in silence untill he started to cry. Then he would feel like he was in some kind of tunnel and would struggel to breath. It felt like an intense amount of pain all over, like something is just squeezing him into this little ball.

His body feels tingly and it gets really dizzy. It feels like ice is running through my veins and making him freeze, wants to run away from my body but I can't, of course. He would start breathing shallow. Heart racing and in total panic. If it is really bad, I couldn't even breathe, he starts to hyperventilate and sometimes would throw up.

They said it was some kind of panic attack. It felt diffrent to hi athma attacks. All he new was it felt horrible and he hated every minite of it. Dean would freak out and hug into his father at the other end of the room becuse the doctors would sidate him or put a oxygen mask on him.

It would stop and his family would come overand hug him or stroke his damaged and burned hair.

Later, John would try and get him to talk or look at him. He wouldn't, of course, so John would have to leave the room so he didn't cry infront of his family. Bobby would step in instead and try to look after the boys in John's place.

At night, they all stayed on the chairs or on the sofa near the window. I mean, they had no where else to go to. Dean would lean over the small boy who was ever crying quiet or getting stroked by John and kissed him on the forhead were he wasen't burned.

"I love you buddy. Good night" and went to bed in a chair that waen't good for a dog. It was worth it if he could stay with his brother though.

Although, nearing the end of the stay, he started holding Dean's hand, At the time it was just enough to give the family a little bit of embition and hope.

The doctors finished there tests in the morning about and they left the hospital.

Bobby stayed with them for a while but found there wasn't anymore he could do for them. He offered for them to stay with him untill they got back on their own feet, but John being his stubborn self said no thanks and let his friend leave. When Bobby left the family, they didn't really speak much to each other. It would just be long hours of silence every day for the broken family. Dean would cook and look out for his little brother because he realized that works better than bothering his dad.

Sammy hated this new reality. He was terrified of everything around him. He hated it when people spoke to him because he didn't want to speak to anyone anymore. He would just look at them hiding behind his long hair that he grow out. John hated it but didn't care enough to speak up about it unless he was drunk and would yell about it. Sam and Dean would just hid untill he cried himself to sleep.

He knew his dad loved them both but he was just trying to cope with everything. He was a good person just upset and sad all the time.

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A couple of months past and John was learning how to be a dad again. It was difficult at times but with help from each other it was getting easier. They had to shave Sam's hair becuse of the damage. Sam new it had to go but it made his new life even more real.

Sam had been having really bad anxiety attacks that was scary at first but now Dean and John knew how to handle it. Sam hated going out into public, if he did, he would have to wear a hood to cover as much of his face that he could. He didn't like people staring. He understood that it didn't make the people bad people for looking. He realized he looked weird and everyone likes to stare at something that's broken or doesn't look right.

Understanding why they did it didn't help the fact it was happening though.

If someone else was to speak to him he would just go to his dad and he would pick him up and just hug him close. He would only ever really string a sentence now and then to Dean or his Dad, sometime Bobby if he was having a good day.

They were all heading to Bobby's after a small hunt because Sammy was having one of his bad days and he always struggled more when he was in the back of a car by himself. The motion of the car made him freak-out if know one was hugging him and it would bring on nightmares. Plus, if he was in a small space it made the panic attacks worse becuse he felt like all the doors were closing into him. That was never good because that would lead to a exstream panic attack.

...

In the car, Sammy was sleeping in the back and Dean and John was in the front.

Sam was moving around in his sleep and was waving around more and more as the time went on.

"Sammy! Come on buddy. waking, wakey" Dean called as he turned around to look at his brother. John quickly pulled the car up to the side of the road and turned of the car to get out and go to Sammy's side of the car as fast as he could. He suddenly felt a surge of overwhelming anxiety and fear fill his body.

John wrestled Sam's hands away from his chest and stilled his horrified son from thrashing and hurting himself. When he got there he picked up his little boy and hugged him in his arms, still being as carefull as possible with his burns. They were mostly healed but in change of tempreture it added to the pain again.

He could feel every wall is closing in towards him, like he coudn't see straight and his sight suddenly becomes full of red sploges. Tunnel vision describes it perfectly.

"Hi there Sammy. I got you. Shhhh! I got you!" he said slowly rocking him as if he was a young baby.

As Sammy awoke he looked up at his daddy and hugged him close so he could get out of the horrible dreams that followed him. It feels like the young boys throat is being choked at. His tiny hands start tingling because his breaths are getting more shallow and not getting enough oxygen in his lungs, which of course panics him more as he has flashed of beinf drowned in smoke on the worst day of his life. He felt like he was trapped and being suffocated or drown. He would get some goulps of air but then jet pushed back down by a wave and couldn't breath again.

After a hell of a lot of rocks and looks at his big brother, be calmed down a bit more. He was now silent and his breathing was laboured gulps of air and gagging on his tong.

His breathing sped up, hard and fast, Dean screaming for his brother to calm down.

John held him close and hushed him over and over. "You're fine Sammy just breathe with me. You're okay now. sshhhh"

His breathing was still laboured and fast but he opened his eyes to see his panicked family and calmed down when he knew they were there.

John gave a tender smile down at him and said "Hi there bud. How are you?"

Sam gave a small shrug like he always does, which means 'as god as i can be'. He was still trying the best he could to get his breathing under control. He still could feel like he was dying or going crazy.

"Ok then. How about we all get back into the car and you can sit up with us untill we get to uncle bobby? Its only about 20 more minutes." John carried on the conversation stroking his baby's hair back from his face.

John couldn't hear anything from his child but was expecting it. However, he could feel a small nod so he walked over to Dean's side of the car and sat him down with him. The father went back the back of the car and pulled Sam's blanket from back and placed it over his babies. He made shore they look comfortable and closed the door with them inside.

"You okay now Sammy? You know your safe now, right?" Dean whispered to his little bro.

Sam didn't make any facial expressions and carried on looking at the floor but nodded.

John got back into the car next to his boys and started the car again.

"Come on than boys" he said with a small smile. He has to be strong for his family now. He has to be a good dad.

Bobby had tutored the boys for a while now, so it was expected that they would be going back to Bobby's very soon. It was much easier to stay under the radior this way because teachers would always pay sam extra attention because of the way he acted. One look at his notes from his past and all they could see was his 'problems'.

Sam hated it because he was very smart but the teachers would only ever look at him close enough to see the burns and problems, so they never really understood him.


	4. Chapter 4

They fulled up into Bobby's house to see him coming out the door to meet them with a great big smile hanging on the edge of his face.

"Ok. Dean get Sammy out and I will get all the bags." John told Dean opening his door

Dean nodded and opened his door. Bobby came up to them both as well because he knows what Sammy's like when he is having a hard time. He hates walking or being alone, and dean can't carry him and his bag.

They always need his bag with him at all times just incase.

After the fire, Sammy suffered from many thing such as depression, anxiety and damaged lungs to the point that he needs his inhaler with him always incase he has an attack. He also needs to have his cream and medication for the pain. If that wasn't enough, on top of that they always need to bring his blanket because if he gets scared or worried and it's not in close reach, then all hell will go down. All in all, he was having a crappy life that was full of medication, stress, freak episodes and the hospital now and then.

Bobby went to pick Sammy up from the car seat but when he went to pick him up, Sam couldn't help but jump a little.

"Hi, bud. It's just me. How about we get you inside and we can eat?"

He hates it when he jumps felt like he was going crazy. Everytime he said it would happen again but it always did.

After Sam realized it was just Bobby he settled down a bit. "Kay."

He was really hungry and tired. He just wanted to rest a bit with Dean.

"Come on" Dean said running of inside hoping to be followed by his baby brother. It ddidn't happen but he could always hope. To his amazment though once he got inside, he jumped onto the couch and hugged into his brother.

Bobby gave a bit of a smile and went inside with John that was not fare behind him.

...

Sam was reaching for the bread on the table as everyone was talking and laughing in the living room.

Sam enjoyed being in Bobby's house because his family seemed to smile again. He hated when everything in his life was sad and painful. That meant he had no hope of being normal again

He had more problems when he was out in the open. It always felt like first time when he had a attack or a vision of 'that night'. He always thought he was having a stroke or some kinf or massive heart attack and, his face went numb after the feeling of pins and needles that ran, fast through his body. Up and Down. All over and then again and again untill he managed to handle it and calm down. Sometimes it would take 10 minites and others a lot longer. 2 hours, 5, 8.

He wanted to be normal and that seemed possible when he was at Bobby's.

He was pulled out of his imagination by his brother. "Do you want some butter for that bread Sam?"

"Yea, pwease." he whispered quietly and holding his hand out.

Dean smiled and handed it to him happily. He was just glad he got a reaction this time.

It was such a simple thing, but for this family, it was absolutely amazing.

"Do you need some cream for your burns buddy?" John asked once they were cleaning up the tabel.

He didn't want to admit the his pain but it started to hurt so much!

He nodded his head and went over to his dad and hugged his hip bone.

"It's okay, buddy." He stroked his head and looked at Bobby.

"Go on you idjit. Go sort your boy out and me and Dean will fix this all up."

"Thanks" He mumbeled as he picked up his youngest and his bag of the chair next to the tabel. "Come on them baby. Lets fix you up."

They went upstairs and John sat his son on the bed before opening his bag. "Ok, you no the drill. Lift up"

Sam nodded and let John help left up his shirt to reveal all the burns on his shoulder and belly. John winsted like he always does before opening the pot of cream.

"Okay you want me to sing the song" John always sung the long that Mary sang when they were ill to calm him down. 'Hey, Jude by the Beatles'.

Sam new it hurts and the singing made him feel safe.

After John sore the nod, he started.

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad

Take a sad song and make it better"

He brung his hands to his chest and rubbed the cream over his sore skin making him wimper. He stopped the sining and said "It's okay, Sammy." calmly.

"Remember to let her into your heart

Then you can start to make it better

Hey Jude, don't be afraid"He carried on untill the song was done and he finished applieing the cream.

Sam was nearly shacking becuase of the tears that racked his small body. "Come here. I'm here. It's done now." He sothed

He was agitated with the pain he felt but the hugs and kiss's made him calm down long enough for the top to get back on. "Can we go down now?"

He smiled his son for using words and nodded picking him up again to go downstairs and into the living room. They all sat on the couch pretending like nothing happened. However, they all new diffrently.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day started better than usual.

By that I mean, Sam woke up to the cars of people trying to get to work early. Compared to scary dreams of fire and the death of his momma, that's a great way to wake up.

Although, he woke up so early, Dean was still asleep. He usually woke up to the screams of Sam so it was a good day for everyone really. Sam doesn't really like waking up to no-one to talk to him or to hold him so, he slowly got out of his bed while dragging his blanket behind him.

He approached his big brothers bed quietly and lifted the blanket and lowered himself under it quickly. Dean automatically knew what this meant and turned around to hug him smiling.

"Good morning bro." he yawned "Any mean dreams today?" The 16-year-old asked.

"No." He said quietly to his big brother grinning a little and hugging back.

"Well, that awesome!" Dean said smiling happily. He felt a week nod and smiled. These days were awesome for them.

There was a tiny nook at the door and with a 'come in' from Dean, their dad walked in with a receiving a smile from dean.

"well if my eyes are not lying, you both look quiet happy today which means one thing this early in the morning..." he said grinning wide

Sam whispered loud enough for his daddy to hear him and said "No mean dream." with that john went and picked him up in his arms.

"That's great Sammy. Does your shoulder or chest hurt? Do you need your medicines or you okay?" John said worried. With a shake of the head and a nod from John, they all went down stairs to eat.

Bobby was sat at the tabel with a half full coffee pot and newspaper with a highlighter. He did this most mornings to make sure there was no hunts in the area. "Well, morning boys."

Today was a good day and that wa so exciting. On good days Sam was even known for smiling and once he even danced to the radio with Dean. That is what keeps them going.

Today was a good day. So they thought anyway...

...

"Hey, Sammy. Do ya want to watch some TV before we have dinner?" As he was having such a great day Dean thought it would be awesome to just sit with his brother for a bit.

Sam nodded slowly and ran to the chair where he left his blanket and walked to dean and sat next to him. He was so close they might as well have been sat on top of each other. To be honest Sam didn't notice, it was normal for him to always he touching someone. Dean liked it that way if he was being honest with himself. It made him feel wanted. It gave him a purpose to be happy and smile. If he had to smile and be there for Sammy, he couldn't think about their mum. Plus, it made Sammy come across as his baby brother again. It's one of the reasons they don't feel safe sending him to a public school.

Kids are mean to the best of times. An eleven year old that acts six, smart, doesn't speak and runs around with a blanket in one hand. Let alone the burns that cover quarter his top half and the panic attacks that torcher him. Well, there are always going to be people who want to bully children like that. If that was to happen, It would completely break Sam into pieces.

Dean and Sam were sat on the couch watching sponge bob because it is about the only think on that Sam enjoyed watching. They tried watching Scooby-Doo once but it had fire in the episode and from then on got completely terrified of watching it all together.

Dean figured that he liked sponge bob because it's under water. There can't be a fire under water and if it was, nothing could happen because it would just get put out to quickly for anything to happen, and of course he loved the theme tune which was awesome to watch because he would rock himself to the music. It was adorable!

"Boys, can you come in here? We really need to talk to you." They heard John yelled from the kitchen.

"Yea!" Dean yelled back and got up. He pulled Sammy to his feet. "Come on Sammy"

They both walked into the kitchen to find Bobby and John sat around the tabel looking upset. On the tabel was a small and folded bit of paper.

"Jesus! What the heck happened in here?" Dean said looking a bit shocked and worried to what they just walked into. It scared Sam a bit so be clinging onto Dean's arm as hard as he could. He really didn't want to be here.

There was an awkward silence in the room for a couple of seconds before John spoke up.

"Can you both sit down please. We got a letter today that we need to talk to both of you about." Bobby said not taking a minute to look up. So they did take a seat, and of course sam sat right next to Dean and carried on hugging his arm and the blanket that he held in his other arm close to his side.

"Look, you wont like this. You both will hate it to be honest but it isn't up to us and I wish I could change their minds but if you don't do this it could lead to bigger things. It might even help anyway, and..." John was rambling on.

"Look just spit it out okay!" Dean yelled, starting to get a bit panicked, which made Sam jump and hold onto the object in his hands stronger. "I'm sorry, Sam" and looked at his dad and uncle. "Just tell us what is happening. Please?"

Bobby coughed to clear his air ways. "We got a letter today from the social services saying that there not happy with the way were going about your education."

"So you can teach us something else right and then were good." Dean said looking relieved. then looked around at worried faces. "Right?"

John and Bobby both shock there heads. "No son. Your 16 and nearly 17, so by law, you can stay out of school. No worries." Dean nodded to his dad for him to continue as San started to vibrate a little.

"Well. There saying that there not happy with Bobby teaching Sam any longer and from the doctors report they told us about, they feel that it would be better for him to be around people his own age." Then their dad looked up at his shaking son and said "Sammy, baby they want to send you to a real school or at least a school for people with the same kind of struggles as you."

"What! They can't be serious!" Dean yelled standing up as Sam started to shake more and more and then start to cry hysterically. "Hey Sam, im sorry for yelling. It will be fine I promise!" Dean said quickly stroking back Sams hair as he rocked him.

It didn't help much though as he was still panicking and struggling to breath. They had seen this before so Bobby knew what to do and left to get an inhaler or him.

Sam starting to push them away and spoke ass loudly as he could, which was still pretty quiet "I don't i-i don" in the middle of crying that all he could make out.

"What Sammy? You dont what?" John asked worried.

"please! I don't want to daddy!" He screamed and leaped to hug his dad.

"I now baby. I now. I wish we had a choice, but it will be okay. it might only be or a couple of week untill we get this all worked out." John spoke softly to try to calm his baby down.

Bobby came rushing in with his inhaler and a couple of pills to calm him down.

"Here go buddy." and he handed it to him carefully.

Once they had calmed Sam down and he was sitting on Johns lap with his blanket wrapped around him and was getting rocked back and forth, they started to talk again quit and softly.

"Look, Sam. No one wants this to happen. However, we don't have a choice and the school they recommended looks really good and its full of people your age and they have been through things like you have. They wont laugh at you for not speaking or for them scars because they will be used to it. They said that they will even let you wear your hood in class if that makes more comfortable. The school will have are numbers so if you need to speak to us you can at anytime." John gently said as he was stroking his hair back and forth.

"Wait! You want to send Sam to a stupid special school?" Dean said, angry. He knew Sam wasn't stupid. He couldn't understand why he didn't warn them about this before just springing it on them!

"No! it's not like that. It's just for kids that have had a traumatic past. It means that you can relate and it will be good for you Sam." He said to both his kids. He really wished this wasn't happening. He came closer to his youngest and put his hand on his hair.

"It will start as half days to buddy. You understand?" Sam slowly nodded his head scared as hell.

John looked at Dean because he knew that them brothers would convince the other to do anything. So Dean spoke up from the other side of the tabel. He was really fighting the urge to fight his father on this but he knew it couldn't be good for his brother.

"That sounds good. right bro? and if anyone tries to mess with you they will get a head beating from me right?" Dean tried to sound enthusiastic for Sammy even though he got a look from his father. Although, it worked and Sam whispered quietly "I guess."

"I promise. It wont be like last time. Okay?" Dean questioned and got a look in the eyes and a nod back.

"So will you give it try Sammy?" Bobby finally raised his voice.

Sam looked around his family and even though he didn't want to do it and hated the idea, he knew he had to do it because he knew that the social services could take him away. He would rather a rubbish couple hours of a day full of people picking on him, than never seeing his daddy and big brother or even Bobby again. He loved them to much to not see them so he nodded his head again to say he will give it a try.

Dean walked over to the youngest and hugged him close. He whispered into his ear that 'it will be okay'. He hopped to God that he will be right.

...

...

Authors Note:

I hope you are enjoying my story.

Please review or comment so I now how to improve on this story and my future stories! It would mean the world to me.

Thank you so much :) xxx


	6. Chapter 6

There were many times that Sam woke up scared and screaming. Sometimes it would be for help and sometimes for Dean and his daddy. Dean would always get to him first because they shared a bedroom and he never stopped feeling completely powerless.

Dean woke up to gasping coming from near him, he turned as quickly as he could to see a small body thrash around and knocking the bed sheets of the bed and onto the gross motel floor.

As soon as he registered what was happening he rapidly called "Dad! Its happening again!" before bolting from his bed and ran as quickly as his tired body could handle before reaching to bed that held a panicked and scared young boy.

"Sammy! Come on Bud!" He said trying to settle to hyperventilating sam. "Hey! Sam its okay! Open your eyes buddy!" He practically yelled while pinning his arms down so he didn't hit himself or Dean. While doing that he was stroking his hair back to try to calm him the best he could.

However, the little boy continued waving his body about and gaping for air. This was one of the worst and it always made Dean think that it would be too much pressure on his body and it ould shut down. Deep down he knew it wouldn't, but in the moment it was scary anyway.

"SAMMY! PLEASE WAKE UP!" Dean screamed with all his might as their father ran in through the door to grab their son and hold him close to his chest. Dean moved out the way and sat next to his family, while stroking his hair back

After what seemed like hours, Sam awoke from his nightmare with a massive jolt. He opened both his eyes and looked around confused but glad to be out of his worst fear. He shot up straight in bed, was covered in sweat and breathing heavly. His eyes wondered for a second and he looked all around the room, trying to get a swnce of where he was. Sam looked up at his big brother and father and burst into tears.

Images flashed throught his head all at once. Hot flames.

Burning skin.

His mommy's cry's.

!How will he be able to sleep after that? Will I ever be able to sleep?' He thought as he lowered his own body back into a layinh position and stared at the cealing. Trying his best to not look at his family.

"Hey buddy its okay now. Where here. Its okay." Dean claimed as John just hugged them both, rocking but the room remained quit apart from the sobbing that came from the young man.

It toke around half an hour and a lot of rocking, untill the crys calmed down to hiccups. He felt paralized and naken in his fear.

"You okay?" John asked, breaking the quiet noise. He got no answer other than a smirk from Dean and a nod to look a the boy. He looked down and sore Sam sleeping up against him with his head in the older mans shoulder. The breathing was still a little heavy but he seemed calm so he got dean to slowly stand and get the blanket, while John very carefully moved to lay the small boy nicely in the bed.

John looked at his baby and placed a gentle kiss on his head and toke the blanket from Dean to pull up Sam. He smiled sadly before moving away again and brung the sad small to Deans tiny grin. They were just grad he didn't have to use his inhaler today.

"Okay then. tells get you into bed aswell." He moved to tuck Dean into his own Bed and gave him a kiss on the forehead as well. Dean giggled and wiped it away.

"Night, son. Sleep tight and look out for Sammy" He said walking to the door.

"You now I will dad" and John nodded before he silently closed the door to see Bobby outside.

They both smiled to each other and both went to their own bed.

A couple of nights later Sam and Dean were both lying in bed trying to get to sleep but nothing would work. No matter how hard they tried, sleep was just not working. This was because they knew that the next day Sam would have to go to school and re-live the torcher of other kids and teachers that just didn't understand him.

Dean looked over at his little brother. Sam was lying with his eyes closed wrapped in his blanket. He looked asleep but Dean knew his brother better than anyone else. He knew that he was freaking out big time.

Dean got up slowly and walking quietly over to his little brothers bed.

"Hey, Sammy?" He said as he picked his brother in his arms and got into bed to lay right next to him.

Sam just looked up at him with tears in his eyes and said quietly said "Scared De".

Dean looked down at his traumatized little brother and for the first him in a long time didn't even know what to say. He would usually cover himself in a fog of jokes but he knew this time would break his brother. He didn't know how to get out of this, he just had a bad feeling. So Dean wrapped himself around Sam and rocked him untill he knew he was asleep.

From then on through-out the night he looked down at his brother and prayed that things would get better soon. The family couldn't deal with more hurt.

The next morning John walked into their room around 6:30 to wake them both up. They didn't talk much and that was frightful because when it came to Sam, silence is the scariest sound.

If he was completely quiet and blank, it always meant that he was thinking to himself and the meant he would panic. If you have never seen a friend have an anxiety attack then you are so lucky because to see that is an insight of true hell.

As expected, they were all in the car taking Sam to his first day at a special school to look after people like sam, and he started to shake and cry. The hugged him because that was all they could do.

Bobby pulled up to the car and jumped out to get to Dean and Sam's side of the car.

Sam really didn't want to go in there but he was sick of being used by his problems. He didn't want to be a person that hid behind their anxiety, he wanted to breath again, so he looked out the car to the school and took a breath and stepped out.

"Okay. you ready buddy?" No. None of them were but it was about time they just jumped into it so he didn't speak up. All Sam did was walked to the school pulling his father behind him followed by the rest of his small family.

John went in to speak with the head master and tell them that they had arrived. Sam didn't speak but had to admit when they were getting a tour around, he was excited by the library they had.

Then finally they got to the end of the tour and it was time to say goodbye.

"Okay Sam. it's time for first class. Time to say by to your family for a couple of hours." The head teacher said nicely. He did seem really friendly. He even stroked his leg when they were sad next to each other in the hall and kept giving him nice smiles.

"Okay buddy. You stay here untill 2:00 and then we will come and pick you up. If anything goes wrong or you want to come home really bad," John started but Dean interrupted with

"Which i'm sure won't happen because you will have loads of fun and probably will want to stay longer with all those books in there, huh geek." Dean said nudging Sam

"Yea im sure but if it does, Mr Brown here" and pointed to his head teacher "had all are numbers and we will be here in 5 minutes at most. Okay?"

Sam hugged his dad and pulls away and nodded. He quickly hugged his family and walked to Mr Brown holding his bag.

"Come on than Sam. Your first class is just right through here." He could barely take in a breath but walked with Mr brown untill there family was well and truly out of their sight. He just felt like breaking down and crying. There was a massive ball in his throat that wouldn't budge and was corsing it hard to breath.

He couldn't walk anymore and had to stop to search through his bag trying to find his inhaler. Mr Brown was used to this after his 10 years of being the head at this school.

After about 10 minutes, Sam had calmed down a bit and Mr Brown lowered himself to Sam's level so he was kneeling next to him and looking Sam right in the eyes.

"This is a good school Sam and no one will be mean to you. I promise" He spoke softly as he was rubbing his big hands up and down the young boys arms and shoulders. "You now know where my office is as well, and if you start to get a bit uncountable or upset, all you have to do is walk out the room and take yourself up there so we can figure out what is making you sad. I'm not your teacher okay. I'm just a friend." Mr Brown smiled wide as he wa still rubbing his hands up and down the side of Sam.

"O-okay Mr" The teaches in his old school didn't act this way to him but they never really understood him. 'This must just be what teachers are ament to act like' he thought and gave a small smile looking across to Mr Brown.

After, Mr Brown stood up and gave him a great big smile and lead him all the lay to a door. Mr Brown looked down at Sam, patted him on the knee and knocked on the door.

All of a sudden he was in a class with loads of people he didn't know and was scared beyond his limites. However, he couldn't freak out in the class. That's how all the bullies got him last intread, he would just sit by himself and wait for the bell to ring so the kids would g outside and he could go sit in Mr Browns office.

He was hating school so much. He was either bored or upset. He went home and cried on his brothers shoulder. How could things get thi bad for him?

Dean shhed him and wispered "I will be okay once you get used to the other people buddy." He stroked the hair of the young boy and waited till be feel asleep. He missed breakfast but they thought it was worth it becuse if they woke him up, he wouldn't go back to sleep.

"I just want Sammy to be okay again, dad." Dean mumbeled

John walked over to his son and he hugged him to his side. "Me two, son. Me to. "


	7. Chapter 7

Sam woke up with a feeling like all of a sudden, everything around him was looking at him, feeling him. Sucking the air out of him, pulling the ground from beneath him.

He kept starting shaking vilently, sweating and twitching. Dean sore and soon got into the bed with the young boy, calming him before he started screaming. He needed a good rest before taking on school again and if he woke up in that mess, he wouldn't go back to a peacefull sleep again.

"It's okay bro. Sleep tight." He wispered as he moved his hair out his face.

Eventually, he calmed down and calmly sleeping. Dean new he could move into his other bed again, but he thought he would feel safer if he woke up again, so he styed.

He was dreading going to school but he new he had to.

"Come on then. Boys! wakey wakey." Bobby called from the other room.

Dean rolled over and got up. "Come on then." He said softly.

"Things will be diffrent today." Sam nodded and got ready with the help from Dean. John made him breakfast and gave him a lift to school.

"Have a god day, buddy. Love you." He wispered into his youngest ear.

"Kay."

"Just give it another chance. You might end up liking it." He said nicly.

Sam jumped out the car and grabbed his bag. "See you later."

Sam nodded and went back to his first class. His class's went the same as yesterday but there was less looking and mean words. The teachers even gave him harder work and let him read when the rest of the clas was playing.

At break he went back to Mr Brown to talk. It was great today.

Mr Brown let him in the room and hugged him. They spoke for a while about the book he was ready and hiss hobby's intill he had to go back to lesson. Then came back again at break while he was waiting for his family to come.

While they were waiting for the family they talked about maths and books. While they were talking the older man touched the boys leg and rubbed it sofly. Dean didn't mind to much but he did jump a little.

Sam liked Mr Brown. He makes him feel comfortable and safe. The kids were okay but now and then some of the kids would laugh or try to touch him. Sam was okay with people he knew touching him, but when it came to random kids that were trying to get his attention so he could ask him about his scars. That freaked him out a lot.

It made that okay though when he went to speak to Mr Brown because he could just talk to him. If he got upset he would hug and comfort him.

Before Sam even knew it though, It was 2:00 and was time for his daddy to come pick him up. It was nice that he was getting picked up early because he knew the other kids wont be there yet crowding to run out of school.

He hated crowdes. Anything could happen when your small and in a big space. Peaople get lost and hurt easyily.

...

John and Dean walked into the school holding the blanket that Sammy loves so much. He was devastated about not being able to bring it into the building but he had made that mistake before and it never ended well. What could be say, Kids really don't like kids turning up at school with a comfort blanket. It was a way of consoling him when the worst of his thougth came to his mind.

He had learned that the hard way and he didn't need a refresh for that memory.

They were just hoping and praying that the second day went better than the first.

They both headed to the office were they new the boy was to find him waiting for them with the head master, Mr Brown.

"Sammy!" Dean called, as soon as Sammy heard that he started to run into a hug with him.

Dean unbrushed it for a couple of seconds untill he pulled the young boy away to look him over. He was expecting tears and broken eyes to meet him or even bruises or cuts. I mean it wasn't the unusual for some kid had used him as a punching bag, but was pleasantly surprised to find none of the above.

"Haya bud. How was it today?" Dean asked smiling

Sam lifted his shoulders to say that 'it was okay' and went and hugged his dad and pulled the blanket of him at the same time.

"Hi, bud" he said softly as he picked up his fragile son and hugged him t his chest. "Does that mean it went better than you thought?"

John first thought he didn't answer but then heard a very small voice saying 'yea' so he smiled and thanked mr Brown for looking after him and they left, holding hands.

They all got into the car and headed back to Bobby's.

"So, how was the other kids?" Sam crunched up his face, which made the others laugh. "Get any friends?"

"Mr Brown"

John and Dean was a little confused but at least he was enjoying school a bit more now.

Everyone was all so terrifried about today and now that it went so well, it made them so happy.

At dinner that night they were all sat at the tabel and John couldn't help but ask about the day Sam had.

"What did you do today than Sammy?"

"Mean kids. But okay. Mr Brown nice, like him" he answered quietly.

Bobby and John smiled but Dean only wanted to now about the kids that dare touch his little brother.

"What kids? Did they hurt you?" worriedly asking and looking his brother dead in the eyes. Sam just carried on eating with pasta. He didn't want feel like talking.

"Hey! Sam you need to tell us. okay?" Dean said reaching to grab hi brothers hand.

"Ok. Mr Brown let me stay with him.. He talked about my book." he smiled and looked at his big brother.

"That's good." Bobby pointed out "So you like Mr Brown then?"

The youngest nodded but all he could make out was "Safe with him. I don't think he's mean." and then he started to eat again without even looking up at his family.

John started to grin. Maybe this was a good idea. "good"

John, Bobby and Dean looked at each other smiling

...

...

Authors Note:

I hope you like this. Please leave a comment or something if you want to. I would really, really like it.

Many thanks xxx


	8. Chapter 8

A couple of weeks had passed and Sam was actually enjoying school a bit some days. He teacher, Miss Woods was really lovely. She didn't treat him like he was a baby. She even gave him extra work to do because he would finish things to early.

The kids were okay but there was this one girl called Anne. She would always tease him about why he was alway being quiet and she hated the fact he was so much smarter than her.

When she was being mean though he just would go to Mr Brown. At first he found it a bit weird that he would always hug him so much. To be honest, he didn't mind too much. Over the last couple weeks he had got really close with him so it was ok.

Mr Brown would always find the time to hang with Sam. Sam even started talking to him. Mostly, it would be about the books they had read or about what he was getting tort in lesson. Occasionally, he would ask about his family or what he enjoyed doing. Recently, he even started to ask about girls he liked. Sam always found that a bit weird but he never had much friends before so he thought that it was normal and carried on with his day.

However one day thing got really weird. It was break time and Sam went to mr Brown's office like he does a lot.

"oh hello Sammy!" he said peaking his head over the desk to see his favorite student. "How are you today?"

Sam smiled and was hugged by his head master and kissed on the check. Sam had never been kissed by anyone but his family. He didn't mind hugging Mr Brown but this seemed to much for him. He didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to loss his favorite friend. Well, his only friend. He will just tell Mr Brown to stop if he did it again because maybe it was just a mistake or a one time thing.

The young boy went and sat one the chair next to Head masters and leant back looking at the other man who was standing and looking right at him.

Mr brown cleared his throat with a loud cough and started to speak. "Look Sammy. i really need to talk to you about your behaviour lately." Sam started to panic. what had he done wrong?

Mr Brown picked up on that and was quick to say something. "No! its nothing wrong but i just wanted to try something new. I want to do something to make us closer friends." When he could see the young boy start to ease up a little be finished with a walk to the office door and an "Okay then." he locked the door and walked back to Sam and kneeled down to his level.

Mr Brown running his hand across Sam's shoulders and carding his fingers through Sam's hair. He didn't mind that to much until his hands slid down Sam's arms and started rubbing over his boy's belly. He kept kneeling and rubbing his hands on his belly untill he wanted more.

Without anything. Not even another word, The older man lent in to Sam and started to slowly kiss around the outside of his mouth. "What are you doing?" He said innocently trying to lean away but got court by the head teacher and was pushed closer.

Sam didn't no what to do. He didn't like this. This is what momma and dad did when she was alive. Mr Brown looked at him and nodded, encouragement and smiled when Sam looked scared. He knew Sam trusted him, so he figured he could get away with what he had planned.

Sam tried to push him off but then he grabbed him and the kissing started on in his mouth. Now he was too sacred to do anything, so he just sat there, to paralyzed to do anything. A small tear ran down his small face and down his check.

It felt like years for Sam before he stopped to let him breath. He didn't want to get him to stop. He didn't want to scare him away. Afterall, he never had any friends. He couldn't believe someone actually wanted to hang around with him.

When Mr Brown looked him he had tears running down his eyes.

"Hey Sammy. Shhhh, Its okay. Were friends right?" He said wiping the flooding tears from his face.

Sam nodded. Is this what friends do? If it was, he didn't want to be apart of it anymore. "Just relax and enjoy it. everything fine. Okay?"

The older one whispered good before slowly moving his hand towards the young ones trousers and undoing his pants. "Im just doing my job ok? Im teaching you how to be my friend. " He whispered close to Sammy's ear before getting his big hand and rubbing it on Sam's area. "It feels good. Doesn't it?"

Mr Brown lent in again for a kiss, biting the boys lip whilst humming to himself.

He didn't wait for an answer before he pulled him to his feet and lent him up on his desk. Sam looked so small on it compared to Mr brown.

The older man started to rub his hand on his own hard area before going back to Sam.

The head master started to pull down the trousers that blocked him. While he was doing this he heard a small whimper coming from Sam' mouth. "You need to be quiet Sam. Don't make me angry. Im trying to do my Job hear." He said pushing him down hard and keeping him there with a hand.

Sam knew he had no control anymore. He just wanted to be at home with his family and forget this happened. He didn't want to be at school anymore. He flinched away from the touches and received a harsh yank of his long hair. "You do not flinch away from me Sam"

He pressed hard on Sam's penis and told him firmly, "You understand?"

Sam gasped and squirmed. Now the man was stroking his check again and got up as well as pinning Sam down still.

Mr brown had removed his pants and was now playing with Sam. "Your so pretty Sammy." he whispered creepily as he moved to play with his long hair. "I love your hair baby.. it reminds me of a beautiful beautiful girl." He giggled as he turned sam over with ruth power and fort him to stay still on the large desk.

mr Brown was completely disregarding Sam's feelings and making himself the top priority. Sam didn't know what to make of that. Usually, the principles were ament to look after the kids. Sam now knew what was happening to him. He didn't want it to happen.

Sam was too sacred to make any noise. He was sure this was wrong. This never happened before. He thought to get the older man of him but nothing would work anymore. His legs were trapped and his arms were being pressed above him by his head master.

The older man was lost in groans and affection to even care about the boy under him. He sat on the boy and moved his area to point where he wanted it. How much he had missed this.

Before Sam knew it, his innocence was taken from him with force and at that moment he just wished he was dead.


	9. Chapter 9

It felt forever to sam but he knew it he was only in that room for 30 minutes because he could hear the bell go of from outside telling him he needed to go to class.

Even though am new he had to leave and run as quick as he could he couldn't bring himself to get up from the chair he was sat in before. All he could do was watch the man who just abuse him put his clothes back on. Once he did he walked over to Sam and helped him get back into his underwear and pants

he looked up at Sam and smiled evilly as he did up Sam's zipper.

"Were true friends now beautiful." He wiped the strand of hair out of Sam's face. "You need to get back to class but you can't tell anyone. This is what friends do. They have secretes."

Mr brown walked Sam to the door and unlocked it. He kissed the young boys check and pushed him out the door after quietly whispering 'i love you'.

Sam didn't know what just happened to him but he knew it was wrong. He could smell the head teacher on him so he limped to the closest boys toilet, not even looking to see that it was a girls toilet and just started to turn on the shower that sat behind a small wall.

His tears ran with the water as he rocked back and forth in the freezing liquid.

He didn't say a word to himself or care that he was fully clothed but sat there under the running water hopping that his troubles would get washed away with the water that ran down the drain.

...

John was at Bobby's helping research a hunt when he got a call from the school.

"Who's that?" Dean asked coming in to get a cookie from the fridge.

John looked a bit worried as he said "Sam's school"

That sentence got the attention of everyone on the room as he pressed the answer button the his phone. "Hello?" It came out more of a question than a greeting. He just wanted to know what was wrong.

"Hello is this John Winchester? Sam's father?"

"Yes. I am his dad. If my boy okay?" worriedly asking.

"Okay well im his teacher. We need you to come and get your son. He disappeared at break time so i went to find him. We found him within around 20 minutes but he has destroyed the girls toilet and now is sat in the shower crying. Were not sure if this was normal but it defiantly doesn't seem like him."She informed trying to sound as calm as possible.

"What? Are you shore? What happened to him?" He shouted as he got up and grabbed his coat from the hock near the front door.

"Were terribly sorry sir. He isn't speaking or acknowledge us so its hard to tell you what ha set him of. Would you please get here as soon as possible."

"I'm coming now" he said rushing as he stopped and looked at Bobby and Dean. "Sam has apparently trashed the girls toilet at school and is now sat in the shower crying. They can't get him to come out. We need to get there now. Come if your ready but im leaving now." He said as he was rushing to get his keys of the table and was followed to the car by the two others men.

The car journey was silent. Once they got to the school they parked the car wonky and jumped out rushing to get to te young boy.

Once they walked into the school they could see the start of a crowd building outside one of the rooms. As they walked closer a teacher rushed to them and frantically asked "Are you Sam's family?"

"Yes." They all answered at the same time but not stopping to speak as they all went to the crowd and started to budge through the students. A couple of teacher's were pushing the kids back and getting them all to their classes.

Dean and John quickly ran into the room and Bobby stayed outside. If Sam was in to much of a mess he wouldn't like being crowded. Once they got in and sore Sam fully clothed in the shower with his eyes shut crying.

Teachers were around trying to get him to calm down. However, the distraught boy wasn't paying them any attention.

"Come on, Sam. Just calm down for us." One teacher said soothingly holding out a unsucsesful hand.

They came into the young boys view and looked at the mess of a boy. "Sam buddy. what's wrong?" Dean said walking closer and the teacher walked away to the door.

The young boy hysterically waved his hands out to get them to leave him along. He didn't want more people looking at him or touching him.

"Sam? Sam!" John pushed his way through the teachers that where surrounding the child and looked at the damage he had coursed himself. He had a bump on his head that looked like it would bruise and a bleeding cut on the side on his hand from were he was thrashing around.

No matter what they would do, Sam wouldn't open his eyes or get out the shower.

"Samuel Jeffrey Winchester! Look at us!" He yelled. Sam immediately changed what he was doing and brung his hands down to his side. "Open your eyes" He said now gentle.

"I can't! Please don't make me!" Sam pleaded. Dean could see the shine in his baby brothers eyes as tears escaped from his hazel eyes.

Dean put his hand into the shower and stroked his check until he slowly opened his eyes, still sobbing though.

A soon as the young boy sore his family, he jumped to embrace his big brother and held on for dear life. "Don't want to stay .Go. Go Now!" He squealed over and over untill Dean picked up the eleven year old and held him on his side.

"Okay baby. We're going. shhh were going." John kept saying to reashore him. He didn't care that he was soaked. All he cared was that he was upset. Sam had his moments but this was the worst they had all seen him ever.

He struggling to breath through out all the crying and started to bark through his breathing and started coughing.

"Ah shit! Dad where is his inhaler " He said quickly as he stroked his back, trying to calm him down as best he could.

John looked around to find his bag. He couldn't see it in the room so he turned to his teachers. "Where is his bag?!" One teacher ran into the hall to come back about 2 minutes later, out of breath carrying a blue bag.

John grabbed it and sourced through it. Dean was still trying to calm his now frantic brother.

John brough a hand out the bag and finally had what he was looking for. "Here Sammy!" He held it to his son's mouth and pressed the button on the top. Bobby was no even on the floor in the shower helping John search. They all breathed a sig of relief as sam started to settle down after a couple of shots of the inhaler.

They sat in silence and let Sam breath for a while before carrying Sam to the care and settled him in the car with his blanket.

...

...

Authors Note:

I hope you are enoying what i have been writing :)

Please review or comment so i now how to improve on this story and my future stories! It would mean the world.

Thank you so much :)

xxx


	10. Chapter 10

The drive home was very quiet and cold. Everyone was still very damp from the shower and the cold weather didn't help much with that. Dean looked over to Sam and started to worry.

Bobby toke his own car back to his house so it was just John in the front, Sam and Dean in the back.

"Sammy, what just happened back there." He said leaning his hand on his shoulder.

Sammy started to panic and shake. 'Maybe what happened was normal. What if they will think im a freak for being so scared. What if i was asking for it?" He thought to himself. As he was thinking he started to rapidly breathing.

"Sam?" Dean said as he notices, looking at Sam's face that is way to white. "Hey. You okay buddy?" then he notices the panic and struggle to breath. "Dad! Pull over."

"Breath, Sam. Slow down," he says softly and am gasps loudly "look at me. Okay?"

That's when he notices that he is now crying. "Take it easy. You good, Your okay." Saying fast but keeping his voice controlled.

He kept saying that untill his father got the car on the side of the room and jumped out. Sam bearly noticed because he was to absorbed in what Dean was saying. That was untill John came around and opened the door next to him. It made Sam jump but he soon allowed himself to calm a bit when he found his daddy next to him.

Sam tried to gasp breathes in but was struggling a lot. He just needs to calm down! Why was he finding it so hard.

John pulled in close. "Sit back, all right? Easy, slowly?" but soon he pulled back from his father's though. He still didn't want anyone touching him closely yet. A hand is one thing but not full on hugs yet.

John was a bit confused by it by he figured it wasn't the right time t bring it up yet. He was a but hurt as well. By was his baby pulling away from him.

Sam sat back untill his seat. His neck is slick with sweat but Dean keeps his big hand there anyway. Dean moves his thumb is tiny circles.

It took at least 20 minutes for the breathing to calm down into normal breathing with the hashed hiccup every now and then.

"Its okay buddy. You want to get home now?" Sam couldn't or wouldn't speak now, so he nodded and wiped away a small tear from his face. He couldn't bring himself to look up at his dad and brother so he kept his eyes down on the floor.

Dean and John shared a worried look before getting back into the car and get going again.

...

Once they got back into the car they headed back to Bobby's again. They headed back in but Sam had fallen asleep so John had to carry him in. Bobby was already there and cooking soon spaghetti.

John went into the bedroom and laid his boy down before covering him up, kissing his head and moving his hair out his face.

"We will fix this baby. I don't know what happened but it will be okay." He whispered the room and left the room to find Dean standing anxiety.

"He's sleeping. We will find out what is bothering him." Said calmly.

"Fine but he isn't going to school like that." Dean said as a matter of fact. John signed

"Look Dean, he has to. You know what he went through the first time we made him go. If we let him have days of it will set him back. We could all see how fare he went. One bad day isn't that bad compared to all the good."

"I now dad but it's so hard to see him like that." He sad sadly on the verge of tears.

"I now buddy but we have to believe that it will get better." Dean nodded sadly with tears running down his face.

John brung his son into a hug and kissed his head."It will be okay bud"

...

Sam lead in bed hearing his family through the door.

He cried quietly to himself so no one would notice. The words that were spoken to him was running through his head and wouldn't stop.

 _"Your so pretty Sammy." I love your hair baby.. it reminds me of a beautiful beautiful girl." He giggled_

'No! leave me alone!' He screamed in his head. 'IM NOT! I'm not'

 _"It feels good. Doesn't it?"_

'It didn't! It didn't'

 _"Hey Sammy. Shhhh, Its okay. Were friends right?" " I'm teaching you how to be my friend. "_

'IM SO CONFUSED! Is this really what friends do? Maybe it was my fault for puling away. This is normal' He thought to himself. ' Bobby wouldn't have done this because he is my family, Sam as dead and his dad. There the only friends he had ever had, so maybe he just didn't know it was normal because he has never had friends before.'

It was making sence to him now!


	11. Chapter 11

Sam came back to reality with a jump. He had hardly slept at all that night because he was imagining the words and touches that happened the day before. However, it was now morning and John walked into the room quietly to wake him up.

He really didn't want to get out of bed and go to school. He didn't know what awaited him at today and didn't want to find out. He had to though. Sam heard what John and dean were talking about yesterday, so he knew that they wanted him to go. The worst thing that could happen is that he disappointed his family to Sam. Plus, he wanted a friend and even if it's not what he wanted now, he asked for it, so he had to take it.

Sam got ready in silence. He got into the car in silence.

John pulled up to the school and turned of the engine before taking his view to his youngest toke a deep breath and said "You ready, Sammy?"

'No!' He thought. He knew it would happen again at some point because that's hat friends do. Right? The thing was that as much as he told himself that, he still didn't like it and didn't want it. He nodded anyway. It was more of a reflex reaction than anything because it happened with out himself thinking.

Before John could even say anything, he shore a small tear run down his face and land on the Impala seat. "Hey. Buddy what happened?"

Sam frantically shock his head. 'I can't tell him. Then he will no how much of a freak I am!' He thought

John quickly put both his hands on the side of his babes head to stop him. "Okay baby. You don't have to share now. Just tell me your okay and safe to go into school today?"

Sam in response toke a big breath in, tiny nod and started to open the door before john put his hand on the boys to stop him. "Hey." He started softly. "I need you to promise me that if you start getting scared again like yesterday, you will get someone to call me or Booby, Okay? I promise we won't be mad but i need to know you will be okay. "

Sam sniffled and nodded. "Good boy. I will see you at 10 past 3 right here. Okay?" He expected just a nod but was presently supressed by a rugby hug. John smiled and hugged back before Sam left the car and ran into school.

John watched his son with worried eyes. He watched the school for nearly 20 minute to make sure it was okay to leave his son, before closing the door that Sam left open and driving off.

...

Once John went back to Bobby's, he carried on researching about a hunt. He didn't want to speak about Sam to Dean because he figured it was nothing. Well, at least he hoped.

Dean did ask how he was doing when he dropped him of, but he just said he was okay and that he told him to call if any trouble. He siged and carried on helping his father. They all just wanted Sam to be okay again. Like before their mother died but they all knew very well that would never happen. They new that it would affect their youngest for the rest of his life, and he will struggle doing everything from leaving the house to being close to someone. All they could was try their hardest to help him as such as they could.

The thing was, they were trying as much as they could and it never made a difference. He would be like normal one day and the next he could hardly breath because of a panic attack.

Dean didn't want to let Sam go to school anymore after yesterday. He now when something bad happened to his brother. It would be a different kind of panic, but he seemed to be ok untill then so he had to let him have his space and trust that Sam would come to him when he needs him like he usually does.

...

Sam sat on edge through out the hole day.

He couldn't concentrate in lessons because he was to busy worrying about where he will go at break. He would usually go to Mr Browns but he was scared to what would happen. However, He was still sacred of being out there with all the kids. What if they tried to he friends aswell!

"Sam!" he was brung out of his thoughts by the teacher at the front of the class. "Please pay attention." Hiss face went a bit red with embarrassment and nodded.

"Thank you" She smiled softly and went back to the class to teach maths.

Very soon it was break time and he decided that he would just wander around for a bit. He went to hang around in the toilets but decided if any teachers sore him hanging in there again it would just draw more attention than he wanted. So, Sam decided to just wonder around the bottom floor halls for a while.

All of a sudden he heard a mans beep voice behind him. "Sam! There you are?"

Sam turned around quickly. Mr Brown!

"Hi Sir" He said quietly

"Hi, I have looked for you everywhere. I got worried when you didn't come and see me."

"Why?" 'why was he getting worried?'

"Where friends of course. Come on buddy" He said pushing the young boy along to his office. "Specially after the toilet freak out yesterday. I'm your friend, of course I was worried beautiful."

They were in the office by the time he finished that sentence. "I really want to be friends again buddy." placing a hand on his hair

"No." He said loud enough for Mr Brown to hear.

"But this is what friends do." he said picking the boy up and putting him on the desk again. "I just want to be close to you."

Mr browns hand went to slowly move to pull up Sam's top and before me now what was happening the older mans hand was going over the scar that was on the side of his head and shoulder. "aw i love that scare. I love you." and started to slowly bring his tong over the burned skin making Sam weep.

The older man started moving his hands down to the small boys area and rubbed. It really hurt Sam and he was still sore from the day before. He didn't want to move away because this is normal for friends and he didn't want to seem weird. Right?

Mr Brown moved his hands under the pants and rubbed harder making Sam squills. He lowly moved the pants down the boys leg to leave him cold and open. "There you are. For me and only me" He laughed to himself.

Once Sam was completely naked and Mr Brown was satisfied, he moved to take of his clothes. Seeing this made same want to take a scalding shower before stabbing his own eyes out with a bar of soap.

Sure the older man knew it was wrong. The way his body would react when he watched the young boy talk. However, he figured it wasnt his fault so he carried on not caring enough to stop.

"Shhh, Sammy, it's okay," He assured the kid with a small shake of his head. "Feel so good, Sammy," moaned out in a gasped breath, his hand sliding down Sam's chest to his abdomen. Then he started to move further down and then lower.

Mr Brown flipped Sam off his bum and onto his back on the desk again. Quickly, he blanketed the boy's small body, leaning down and pressing a vigorous and forceful kiss to Sam's mouth. It was another first for them, but not something John was going to soon forget. "God Sam,"He breathed against his lips. "So good, baby."

The older mans erection was very close now, He was completely and utterly delighted, grinding his body down in Sam as soft panted moans and breaths of pain escaped his lips without control. He didn't last very long before he was shooting cum.

It didn't even register in his mind that Sam was hurt. As soon as he had his clothes on, Mr Brown picked the boy up heartlessly and squeezed the boys penis without warning. "You good, pretty boy. That wa perfect my best friend." He snickered

Sam sniffled and nodded, feeling a big hand move a big hand moving hair out his face.

"Your so perfect. You turn me on so much with that long hair and scare. I love it!" He chuckled, caressing his butt cheeks with one hand and penis in the other.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" They both heard loud from the door. Not even breathing they both turned to look at the door.

...

...

Authors Note:

I hope you like what you are reading :)

Please review or comment so i now how to improve on this story and my future stories!

Thank you so much :) xxx


	12. Chapter 12

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" They both heard loud from the door. Not even breathing they both turned to look at the door.

Mr Brown turned around and quickly shocked and horrified to even breath. He forgot to close the door!

The receptionist looked with an outraged face. "What are you doing? Get away from him!" She screamed to Mr Brown. At first Sam thought she meant him and slowly started to pull away. He started gasping, trying to get air into his lungs but failing.

At this point another teacher had come in to the room and gasp. "What is going on?"

"I came here and sore this. Please call the police." The receptionist said quickly.

Mr Brown was too shocked to do anything at first, but after that statement he knew he couldnt stay there. It would mean getting arrested and he wouldn't allow that to happen. While everyone was quiet he grabbed the letter opener of his desk and held it to Sam's neck.

"Stay back!" He roared out to the teacher and receptionist as he slowly moved to the window. "Once I leave you can have the slut, but you will let me leave." He spoke cold-heartedly.

"Please! Just him go! His just a little kid!" The lady at the door begged

By this point, Sam was crying hysterically and shaking like a leaf. "Daddy! Dean! ahh" He whimpered, but the older boy just held him closer to make him wail louder.

"Hey buddy it will be okay." The woman at the weeped, now having waves of tears coming out his eyes.

Mr Brown moved fast now to open the window before he brung one leg up and over the window edge. He whispered "Don't worry beautiful. I'm still your friend. Even if you are a whore." He gave a small snicker and jumped out the window leaving the boy confused and devastated alone in the room. As soon as the headmaster as gone, Sam fell to the floor (Still naked) in a heap of distressed tears and wheeze, choke and pants.

The receptionist ran in as quickly as possible, shut the window because she figured it would make him feel safer and hugged him to calm him down. "It's okay buddy. We will get you out of here. We will just get you a blanket and we can move you out of here and call your parents."

She knew he couldn't make it better but she just wanted to do the best she could to comfort him.

...

Bobby went out on a hunt very early in the morning leaving both John and Dean alone at his house. They were sat up to the tabel looking at the news reports from a town over to help out Bobby to kill the shape shifter.

John's phone rang again, he looked down and sore that it said Sam's school name on it. "Ah shit!" He said and looked at his son "Sam's school again."

He brung the phone to his hears. "Did Sam freak out again?"

"No. Mr Winchester we really need you to come in. We can't really go into massive detail on the phone but all i can say is that Sam needs you now and he maybe hurt." She said in a posh accent, obviously upset.

"What!? Hurt? How hurt my son!?" At this point even Dean was standing up, wide eyed and terrified for his baby brother.

"Sir, please come to the school and the police will explain. He isn't in a critical condition but he needs you, sir."

"Okay. I'll be there" John was now breathing rapid past 'POLICE?! What the hell is happening?'

John rubbed his face and nearly being close to tears before he thought to himself that he need to pull himself together for his boys. "Okay. Dean we got to get to school. They are saying that Sam may be hurt a bit and the police are there. It will be okay but we need to go for your brother, now."

Dean didn't even now what to say to that. Hi breathing speed up while they both quickly got into the car. Not even caring that they left the house unlocked. They headed to the school and as soon as they got close they soar three police cars in the front entrance and a bunch of kids that were surrounded with about 18 teachers.

"What is happening dad?" Dean whimpered and bawled

John had butterfly's in his stomach and a lump in his front. "I don't know Dean."

...

...

Authors Note:

I hope you like what i have wrote :)

Please review or comment so i now how to improve on this story and my future stories! It would mean a lot.

Thank you so much :) xxx


	13. Chapter 13

John and Dean practically ran up to the school as fast as they could. They wanted to just run into the school but they got pushed back by strong arms that belonged to a mussels police man.

"Let me go. My boys int there!" John half pleaded and half screamed

"Sir. Who is your son? We can sort the rest out when we can track him down." The man said reasonable and calm.

John and Dean both said "Samuel Winchester."

Dean toke a breath and cried "Where is he?"

They could see the sorrow on his face which set of more butterfly's in their stomach.

"Okay. I'm going to go get one of my colleagues to take you to your son." John rubbed his face, stressed as the man walked away to come back a minute later with another man. "Follow me and once were inside, I can explain what's happening and we can reunite you both with your son. " He said sympathetic

John nodded and they both followed the man through the crowd of kids and teachers untill they got inside the entrance of the school building. The father and son got escorted into a teaching room that was around the corridor of the door.

The man sat down in a seat opposite another two empty seats. "If you would sit down for me i can go over what we now about what happened here today."

"Okay." They said taking a seat near the man. All of them looked very anxious.

The police man look a deep breath."I'm just going to go into this instead of dragging it out." This stuff is always very hard and unnerving but he had to do it. "Okay. Well, at around 11 o'clock today the receptionist went into the headmasters office to get him to sign some papers. As she went in there he sore a very distressing scene. Samuel was undressed fully and Mr Brown was touching both his anus and penis."

"What?! Where is he?" John shouted getting up, while Dean just started to weep into his shirt sleeves.

The police man stood up and said quickly "There's more, sir. Please come back and take a seat and i will take you there in a moment." John look a puff of air and sat back down next to his son and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Thank you. As i was saying, He was naked and was getting touched by the older man. He proceeded to grab a letter opener in panic and put it to your son's neck. Long story short, Mr Brown got away through the window and left your son inside."

The father and son gulped. "Did he hurt him. I mean with the letter opener." Dean worriedly asked. 'Obviously he's hurt!'

He shock his head decomposed. "No. Emotional we wont now untill he is spoken too, but it's very likely. The teachers here covered him up in a blanket and we wanted you to take him to the hospital because he figured it would be easier on him. There was obvious sexual abuse happening here. Although, we also don't know how fare the man went, but we will need to do a rape kit on young Samuel."

John has fat tears poring out his face and brung himself to look at the man.'Rape Kit?' "Can we see him now?"He spoke with troubled eyes.

The man shock his head up and down. "Yes. The hospital should explain the rest if I missed anything. Please follow me." He stood up at the same time and the other men to be followed down a couple hallways and up a flight of stairs. They all stood in front of a class room with a couple of police and deputy head not fare away. "He is in there with the receptionist that found him. He will only let her go near him. I will wait out here while you go in and if you need me, come get me. Ah and you should probably no that " He said simperfetic.

Dean wiped away a couple we patches were tears once were. Sam had enough going on to be worrying about him crying.

John did the same and took a load of air in to his lungs before he collapsed.

They opened the door and they couldn't prepare themself for what they sure the other side. Sam had a wet face from crying and had no clothes other than a police top (which was absolutely massive for the young boy) and a big towel that wrapped all around him. He was leaning on a old lady that looked about 60-65 and she was hugging him close to her side, shhing him and knocking him to a slow rithum.

John froze at the sight of his baby boy and Dean hiccupped a cry and called out for sibling. "Sammy."

That got the attention of the demoralized and defeated boy and he hiccupped cries. "Dean! Daddy!" He pulled away from the woman and yelled in a high pitch scream, pulling his hands up and waiting to be picked up for enveloped in hug.

Dean hugged him tight for about 5 minutes while John thanked the lady for helping and finding him. Then John went to his boys and picked up his youngest in tight arm.

"It's okay, baby. It's okay" He said holding him on his hip and keeping him with his hands on his back, while rubbing.

"Home?" He said quietly in his dad's ear. He felt embarrassed that they knew now, but it meant be could move with help.

"I'm sorry, bud. We got to take you to the hospital first." He heard a small 'hmmb' noice from his son, meaning 'I dont want to'. "I know you dont want to Sammy, But we have to."

He felt a wet patch growing on his shoulder from tears so he started to rock sam. Dean felt completely hopeful just watching the melt down and not having any power to make to boy any better. He lent closer to his beloved family and rubbed the young boys back before saying quietly, "You won't be their long bud. We will be there the whole time aswell promise."

Sam sniffled and nodded after about minutes.

"Okay then buddy. Lets go and see about going." She aid out loud, still knocking his upset baby.

Dean opened the door to the class room and held it open to let this dad pass with his brother.

Like John was expecting, the man who was talking the them before, was waiting patiently. "Hello."

"Can we take him to the hospital now?" John asked while holding onto his son that was wrapped up in a blanket.

"Yea. i will walk you out the back so none of the kids can stare." John nodded thankful. It wasn't good for Sam to be talked about by loads of kids.

They all walked around the building and got into the impala. The police man told them that the reception at the local hospital now know what has happened and will be expecting them. Sam got placed in the back seat with his big brother hugging him close to his heart. "We will get back to okay Sammy." He whispered, trying to reassure him. He couldn't stand seeing his brother in pain. It was worse than being in pain himself.

They got to the hospital and John immediately darted to the door which hid his youngest boy. He pulled the door open and kneeled down. "Ok son, you ready?" He said as calmly as possible.

He received a small upset shrug, sniffed and two arms reaching for his neck. He wrapped the blanket tighter to the boy, making sure he wasn't cold and was covered up. Then he picked him up and held him close again. Dean jumped out and grabbed Sam's bad before shutting the door and raced with his family to the entrance of the hospital.

They got to the reception and Sam only wanted to hide in his daddy's neck and not speak to anyone, ever.

"Who is this then gentlemen?" A man said from behind the desk.

"Samuel Winchester. Your expecting us." He said rushed. John just wanted hiss son out of eye line before he had a massive anxiety attack in front of everyone.

The lady recognised the rush and pushed the word into her computer fast before leading them into a small room that left them alone. That made Sam VERY happy.

"A doctor will be in soon. Samuel can lay down in the bed if he wants. He won't be to long." She said friendly.

John sat on the bed with his son wrapped around him. "We're here now baby." he spoke hushed to the young child.

Dean sat in the chair that was right next to them and wondered, 'how is this ever getting better?'

A tiny, unnoticeable tear scampered down his face.

...

...

Authors Note:

I hope you are enjoying what i have been writing :)

Please review or comment so i now how to improve on this story and my future stories! It would mean the world.

Thank you so much :)

xxx


	14. Chapter 14

The doctor did soon arrive. He introduced himself as Dr Smith and he shock hands with the men in the room. It took around 20 minutes to calm Sam enough to lay down on the bed that was in the middle of the white and depressing room.

Dean stood anxiously at the corner of the room while the doctor moved to try to give Sam a physical. With massive help from John and Dean, Dr Smith was could check for broken ribs, cuts and get the young and terrified boy into a long hospital gown. he had a small cut on his neck, but was okay and would heal fine. All the doctor did was place some anti-bacteria cream on it and he was fine.

They all new what would come next other than Sam.

John hated what was about to happen. They observed the doctor go to the edge of the room and pulling on the new sanitary gloves. John knew all to well that this wa going to be horrific for the poor young boy and the worst thing was that he couldn't do anything at all the change it and the boy didn't even know what was about to happen to him.

Dean went to one side of the frightened boy and held his hand close to his chest for support. He would differently need it.

The doctor gave a look to John to say 'You night want to warn him.' So John went up to Sam's head and brushed his fridge from his eyes so he could look at him. He coughed to move the lump in his front and started to sympathetically speak.

"Look Sammy baby, Dr Smith needs to check you out completely to make sure you aren't hurt in any way and to make sure you will heal. Do you understand?"

Sam let a breath out shaking. The young, traumatized child nodded that really let of how terrified he was. "Well son, this means he also has to check how you are down there and inside."

It suddenly clicked for Sam and instantly, frantically shock his head as fast as he could and started crying. Dean stepped into action and wrapped his long arms around the youthful child.

"It will be okay. I promise little bro. We will be here the whole time." he said rocking him slowly trying his best to south him.

"No!" He squealed in a very high-pitched noise and continued to cry. John was amazed how he wasn't having some sort of panic or asthma attack from the way that cry for help sounded.

"Baby we need to know if your okay. It will be over in a couple of minutes and we wont have to do it again. Please buddy?"

The crying slowly settled down a bit and he reluctantly nodded his head.

Sam really, REALLY didn't want to do this but he knew he had to for his family. 'It will be over soon. Deano and Daddy are right here. It's okay.' He thought to himself over and over while closing his eyes.

Dr Smith proceeded with the rape kit after giving the psychical examination and got a nod from John to say that Sam was ready. He always felt horrible for doing this but he had to to make sure the boy wa okay. Sometimes it would just feel like he was the monster that did this to the young boys and girls that come here. However, when they leave healthy, it all kind of makes it worth it.

Sam had already put through enough hell with everything he had to live through and now, there was a perverted freak out there that had got him. John and Dean never was much of a believer in God but on this day they prayed to God many times for there youngest.

The Doctor started to move the fin blanket of the bed slowly. "Can we move you onto your side please Sam?"

Sam was visibly shaking to the touch of the stranger but let his dad and brother help him move anyway. "It's okay brother." he hushed and John and Dean both moved to his head.

"I'm just going to move you gown up a little Samuel. Its fine though." The man who stood behind Sam said before moving the material above Sam's hip to show his bottom. "I will start now Sam."

Dean sat himself down by Sam's head and not looking at the Doctor at all throughout that while thing apart from treating eyes. He wanted to make sure that the man wasn't going to try anything on his little brother.

Sam started the get really nervous and panicked when the doctor moved his leg into place and was getting ready for the rectal exam.

It was only when the doctor started to touch his behind, that he started to struggle an his heart rate started to beat faster consuming his body in tremors.

"Sam, I really need you to relax a little for me now." Looking at the family in a way to order their help.

Sam clenched his hand forward to grip his fathers and brothers hand. He didn't want to show weakness again but we knew that he needed them more than ever right now. The young boys eyes was pushed shut with massive force as he felt something enter him and move slightly. All he wanted now was to be anywhere apart from here.

As the doctor started the examination, Dean and John noticed the tears and gasps. "Were here brother. Dont worry, we won't ever leave you. defiantly not when you need us." Dean said pushing stray hairs back from the boys face.

Tears slowly carve a path down his cheeks as Silently cried.

The movement in Sam stopped soon and it pulled out. It would have made Sam relieved, however, instead this just set of a bunch of flash backs for Sam.

"You good, pretty boy. That wa perfect my best friend."

Mr Brown flipped Sam off his bum and onto his back on the desk again. Quickly, he blanketed the boy's small body, leaning down and pressing a vigorous and forceful kiss to Sam's mouth.

'Go away! I don't want to think about this!' Sam hysterically thought in his head

"Shhh, Sammy, it's okay," He assured the kid with a small shake of his head. "Feel so good, Sammy," moaned out in a gasped breath, his hand sliding down Sam's chest to his abdomen.

'Ahhhh no!'horrifie

The older mans erection was very close now, He was completely and utterly delighted, grinding his body down in Sam as soft panted moans and breaths of pain escaped his lips without control. He didn't last very long before he was shooting cum.

he started to breathe really fast and no matter what dean or John would do, They couldn't make the boy calm down. He was just stuck in his own head and couldn't get out or be saved.

The Doctor went to John after removing the gloves and putting them in a bin. "I think it would be best if we sedate him for a couple of hours and get him into his own room to rest. That means we can get him a bit calmer so he can't hurt himself and a bit of rest will be needed for him to recover. It also means we can talk about my findings without upsetting the poor boy."

John looked to his broken boy and back to the doctor to nod. "Do it." He allowed with tears in his eyes. The man nodded and went to the cupboard to get what he needed.

He came back and jabbed the needle into Sa's arm but he was to out of it in his imagination to react. Dean hated doing this to him but he knew in his heart that it would be best. Even if it hurt like hell.

Sam gasped and choked, and another intense shudder raked him before he lost consciousness.

John kissed the boy on the head and dean played with his hair while the tightened boy fell into a peaceful slumber.


	15. Chapter 15

They had moved Sam up to his own room and put in an IV in his arm. They didn't let John and Dean go up this them so they had to wait outside untill they made him comfortable and settled int the new room.

The nurses took Sam out the examining room and a moment later they were letting his body under warm, water to wash away all the blood and cum in one of the hospital's bathtubs. The nurse that was on hand that day scrubbed Sam's skin clean.

They washed his sweaty hair with shampoo until it smelled okay away.

Sam slept through all the movement that happened around him and didn't even dream in the drug induced sleep that was forced on him.

After the doctor injected him with the drug, he was completely

unaware of what was being done to him, and he like that. Even if it was only a couple of hours escape.

Once they were allowed in, they sat down not speaking a word to each other.

The doctor came in about 20 minutes later with a sorrowful face on. That alone made Sam's family's heart jump out their chest.

"I thought I would come and tell you what I have found after doing the examination." With nods from the family to carry on, he went on the explain what he found. "What we know for sure is that he was differently molested by the man. Well, what i found out is that, I'm very sorry, but from signs of tearing and DNA that we found in the exam, we now no that Samuel was raped and it looks like it was more than once."

Even though they were all expecting that results, it didn't make it any easier when it came.

John started crying silently and Dean asked, "Are you shore?" in a devastated voice. He got a response from the doctor of a downcasted nod.

"Im very Sorry. We have put in tests for STD's and HIV/AID's. We will get them back shortly but untill then, he will just need a lot of love and care. We want him to stay in hospital for a couple of days observation but I think it would be best for you to sleep here as well so he won't be alone so im allowing that. "

John wa absolutely heart-broken. 'Im so sorry, Marry. I couldn't protect are babies' He thought to himself with massive tears running down his face. They all hated showing weakness in front of each other, but this was to big of a thing to hold back hiss emotions.

"Thank you, Doctor. We will look after him."

Dr Smith gave a gloomy small smile before leaving the room.

"Dad. He will be okay. Right?" Dean needed reassurance. He went over to his dad and looked him in the watery eyes.

John brung a hand to his son's face and gave a sad smile before bringing him into a hug. "We just need to believe in that he will. In him." They hugged for a while before going back to their seats next to Sam.

...

"Hmm!" Sam groaned and started to grow restless trying awake. The doctor hadn't get injected the morphine untill his IV, and the pain was electrocuting high in Sam's body. "Hmm!" He groaned again and tried to move away from the pain but it made it worse in his bottom half.

"Shh, take it easy. You're in a hospital. Can you hear me Sammy?" Dean said getting the attention of their father.

"Hey buddy. Stay still. i have called the doctor and he will give you something for the pain your feeling, Sammy?" John said fat as he stroked the hair out of the young boys face.

"Daddy! Deano! Help!" Sam screamed with pain and his whole body started to shake with fear of being alone.

"We're here Sammy." Sam's eyes shot open and calmed down when he felt his dad's hand on his head and his brothers soothing voice. He looked at his brother and then noticed the doctor walk in.

"Hello, It's good to see you awake again Sam. You in pain?" He asked asking very friendly.

Sam nodded as much as his aching body would let, which wasn't much but it allowed the doctor to know what he meant.

"Okay. I will just put this morphine into your IV and you will feel a lot better son. Okay"

He moved to do that and soon left the room.

Bobby arrived at the hospital, John had been in the waiting for support for a day before he came. It wasn't that bad because Sam mostly slept and Dean just hugged his baby brother. It was just getting really hard for John to hold a strong hold on his boys and keep himself strong aswell.

Bobby hugged his friend and John greeted him with an upset smile. Bobby had red eyes and they both knew it was from crying but he wasn't going to bring it up because it was fair enough at this stage.

"Where is he?" the older man with a hate asked.

"In the room down the hall with Dean. Come with me. I'll show ya." John breathed.

"Wait,old man. How are you doing? and none of that bullcrap." Bobby barked

John sighed and leant agents a wall. "Okay I guess. I just want him to be okay. Or at least better and back to how he was doing."

"He will get better John. It might take a while but with time and im sure things will improve." Bobby tried to comfort and John did his best to believe him. "Okay. let's go into this room then."

John nodded and opened the door than contained a room with his boys in. They walked in and sure the boys

Dean sore both men and smiled to Bobby. "Hey. Bobby"

"Hey, Son." He greeted quietly..

Dean looked at his brother and realized Sam was looking back at Bobby with a smile. His heart beat faster in his chest. He loved it when the boy smiled

"Hey Sam…" Bobby smiled, approaching the bed.

Sam looked at the three men that were open in front of him. They were his family, the three of them, and he loved them more than anything.

"Did you sleep okay?" John was asking his baby.

Sam didn't reply in words. He didn't feel like talking. He didn't trust his voice to be strong enough to speak loud for his dad so he nodded.

...

Dean had been trying to get Sam to eat for around an hour now and was started to get a bit tired. This meant he was now resorted to tasting the lumpy muck that was on his brother's plat.

"In fact, it's very close to being eatable," Dean nodded approvingly.

Sam's lips twitched in something that resembled a smile, and his cheeks lost some of the red heat. His family made things easier.

"Come on, Sammy… it's just eating. Just open up, put it in fast, swallow it down." Dean's eyes were nice and his voice was easy to trust.

Soon after, Sam did eat the food on his plat. He didn't even realize that he was that hungry untill the first bit of food touched his lips. Once he did he watched the tv that stood high in the room.

Dean had walked out about an hour ago, leaving John to defend for his son.

About half an hour after he left, Dean walked back into the hospital room carrying a small bag.

"Here. I think you'll want this," he throw Sam a book that landed on the bed that he had bought for him on the way to the hospital. Well, he went to three shops but it was worth it for Sam.

Sam took the book out the plastic bag and stared at the cover amazed.

'The Hobbit.' Sam's lips curved slightly into a smile. He had wanted that book for so long! but he couldn't find it at the shops they went to.

Sam had wanted to read that book for a while now. He could not believe Dean had bought it for him. Although, Sam had probably mentioned a billion times that he really wanted to read it, he could

hardly believe Dean remembered the title. He was just going to borrow it from a library. I mean they didn't have too much spare money lying around. Sam would have never thought that his brother was

paying attention to his teenage rabels.

"You like it?" Dean questioned, but he knew the answer already. Sam smiled and that was good enough for them all.

Sam nodded and said quietly "Thanks Deano."

Dean hugged his brother and he didn't want to leave his side ever.


	16. Chapter 16

A couple of nights later Sam actually started to act a bit better.

He started to eat at lest one time a day and would just drink milkshake. He didn't really like eating because he was a bit constipated from all the stress and bad food.

He spend the day watching Jurassic park with his dad, Bobby and big brother for the night untill he started to slowly drift of untill he was long gone into dream land. He always struggled to sleep but he felt safe and calm with his family surrounding him so close.

John walked towards Sam's bed and put a hand on top of his head.

"Night Sam," he said softly. "We love you very much baby."

Dean looked at his brother and father and smiled to himself before going back to the film on the TV.

Sam didn't wake up to anything as long as his family were there to protect him. He watched silently as well as Dean. They loved him so much and just wanted him okay again.

In the middle of this night, it was Sam who woke up and the others were sleeping quietly.

He had no idea what time it was, but the hospital was extremely silent. The faint light was on and Dean was sound asleep on the sofa.

For as much time as the medication allowed him, Sam stared at his family. It felt

good knowing they were there.

He didn't even realize that Bobby was awake in the corner watching him, smiling.

Bobby watched the scene unwind and watched proud. He never had a family of his own but he was so glad that this one found him.

...

Sam was trying to get out of bed to go to the toilet. It was getting really hard because the pain of moving his bottom half was still really stiff and hard to move. Specially after having to lay in a bed all day.

Dean was trying to help as much as possible because he hated seeing his brother in pain. No matter how small the pain was, it always hurt him on the inside as well.

"Hm," Sam groaned and a frown of pain took his face when he raised both arms.

"Easy, buddy," Dean said softly. "Take your time."

Dean let Sam use him as much support as Sam needed. He moved his hands onto hiss big brothers shoulder and limped their way to their father that was standing at the toilet door waiting to help them.

"You can make it buddy. Just a little bit further and you will be at the toilet and Dad can help you go for a wee. Then i can go get you your favorite milkshake from down stairs. Okay? "

Sam felt the tremors shake through him as he limped with his brother. Sam nodded his head and held his hand put as he was getting closer to his dad.

John smiled as Sam grabbed hold of his hands and held himself up. "There we go buddy."

The father carried most the wight of the boy, trying his best to take the pain away.

"Okay Sammy. Im going to go get your strawberry milkshake and I'll be back in 20 minutes. Dad will help you the rest of the way." He said rustling the young boys hair.

Sam nodded and whispered "thanks" before the pain shake through him again making his back straighten.

Dean looked back and really didn't want to leave with Sam looking that bad but with a nod from his dad he decided he wasn't need.

John got Sam into the toilet and helped him slowly onto the toilet seat.

"Okay im going turn away and stand in the corner." After receiving a shaken nod from his son he moved away.

Although, after turning away and hearing small crys come from behind him, he sore his youngest crying in pain. "Hey, son. whats wrong?"

He shock and cried, nearly hysterically. "It hurts!" John kissed the boy's head and rubbed his back untill Sam was done with it. He tried to turn a few times before the meltdown started again.

"What's wrong now buddy?" He asked still rubbing the spot on his back.

Hiccups controlled Sam's body untill he finially said "I-i can't w-wip by my-myssself" and cried again.

John could only just understand what he was saying and then it clicked. " . That's okay. I can do it. Who do you think did it when you were young Bud."

"Come on then" John helped Sam bend forward and supported him in one arm and used his other hand to get some toilet paper and begin to wipe his son's bottom.

Once he finished he flushed the toilet and hugged his son. He knew he would feel embarrassed.

"It's kay buddy. Im your dad. You don't need to be embarrassed in front of be. I have done worst. Right? Remember the story about Dean pooping on my dinner plate? I had to clean that up you know"

Sam laughed and hugged his dad. "Yea. aha i remember."

"See. That was loads worse." Sam nodded and let his dad move him back into his bed just in time for Dean to come back with a massive strawberry milkshake. Sam smiled, he loved his family so much.

...

Soon that night, Sam was sleeping soundly and Dean was sleeping in a chair next to the bed but leaning his head on Sam's arm.

The Doctor very quietly walked into the room and sore the boys sleeping, so he whispered.

"John? I need to speak to you in private for a moment," the doctor said.

He looked at the boys in front of him and looked at Bobby.

"I got them covered. You go speak with the good Doctor over there." and he nodded at the doctor.

"Thanks" and with that, he got up and followed the doctor to office at the end of the corridor.

He sat down on the chair opposite the doctors once he sat down. Dr Smith got out Sam's folder and looked at it.

"What's going on Doc?" John curiously asked

The Doctor let the air out his lung "I got the test results back and i thought it would be better to talk to you first about them." After getting a worried nod to carry on from John he did just that. "I'm so sorry, John. We ran the tests three times. It looks like The results for HIV came back positive."


	17. Chapter 17

"What?" John gasp. Not his son. This can't be happening!

"I'm so sorry. He will have to take medication for the rest of his life. However, ,if he does this, he can live just as much as a full life as you or me. Of course it will be hard at first but, it will get better. "

John toke a deep breath. "What kind of medication?"

"Well mostly, Truvada, Trizivir, Retrovir. It will help him keep his immune system frightening and will keep him alive. We would like to start it in a tomorrow and we will set up a appointment in here with the whole family so we can go through what his means and what you all can do."

John rubbed his face, stressful and nodded. "Okay. Thanks Doctor. If you don't mind i would like to go back to my family and tell them."

"Yea. of course John"

John left the office deezy and went to the toilet and locked the door. All that was going through his head was that his youngest boy had got HIV from a pervert!

John crashed his back onto the wall of the toilet and slide down crying in a heap on the floor.

'Why Sammy?'

...

John went into his son's room to see his children laughing with Bobby.

"Hey, da.. " Dean started clearly cheerful untill be sore the devastated look on his fathers face. He had red marks around his eyes from crying and he had just spoke to the doctor. "What happened?"

John looked at the floor before taking a big breath of air. He moved t sit next to Sam on his bed and put a hand on his leg.

"What going on dad?" Sam said obviously terrified

John looked around the whole room to see Bobby's and Dean's worried face, before going back to his youngest. He started with his voice low and caring. "Sammy, the doctor wanted to speak to me about the resent test results that came back. One of them came back positive, baby."

"W-whaat?"Said horrified

John brung his son into a hug to make for he would stay calm. They really didn't need a panic attack or asthma attack.

"Do you now what HIV is?"

There was gasps from around the room that made Sam more scared. He looked around the room at all the people with massive panic in his eyes. "No. is it ba-bad? Am I going to die?"

John looked his son in the eyes and started to explain. "No buddy. As long as you take your medication you should live a healthy life."

Sam just started to cry. it was all too much so Dean came over to help comfort his sibling to the best of his ability. "How long will he have to take the medication Dad?"

They could all see it was a bad when John had a tear running down his face. "How long, dad?"

No! his baby brother couldn't be infected with HIV. This couldn't be happening!

"Probably, the rest of your life Sam. However, it may not affect your life in any other way and we're here the whole journey. I Promise it will be ok."

Sam was still crying but he nodded his head so his dad knew he understood. However, suddenly Sam felt like his head wasnt apart of his body anymore and his stomach was being tied in a massive not. "Sick.

Bobby quickly sore that and moved to get the bin next to him and gave it to John, ho placed it under Sam's chine just in time. Dean kept rubbing his baby brothers back.

Sam frow up in the bin about three times before me was done. John hated seeing his boy like this but he knew there was more to come.

"Hey, Sam, Dean said softly, pulling Sam's hair back out of his face. "Not feeling very well, huh?"

Sam pouted while shaking his head. He lent his head on Deans chest and John wiped his youngest son's mouth as he was falling asleep on Dean.

"Just sleep buddy. we're here." the big brother said brushing his hair.

A couple of hours later John and Bobby went to speak to Sam's doctor so they could go over the treatment plan and medication Sammy would need once he is released from the hospital.

Sam started to move in his sleep and start to flutter awake. He heard hushes and felt a warm soothing hand removing hair out his opening eyes.

"Hey, Sammy. Feeling better?" the big brother smiled but Sam could see the worry in his eyes.

"Yea. Lil but kay.?" He whispered.

"Everything will be okay you know Sammy." He said as a matter of fact which made Sam start to feel okay.

Sam nodded and then there was a silence filled with hugs for about 10 minutes. "Want to watch some TV Sammy?"

Eventually they did and there was no speaking in the room untill Sam spoke. "Are friends ament to touch each other, Dean?" His voice very low and scratchy.

Dean was cort of guard by that question. "What? What's going on in that freaky head of yours?"

Sam looked at the floor with tears welling up in his eyes. "Mr Brown always said that we were friends and that's what they do. He would sit me on his desk while he took of my clothes and said that friends always did this and it means were just close. I didn't like it but i just wanted some friends." At this point his eyes were streaming with tears. "Is friends ament to touch each other. Am I just weird for not liking it?"

That's when Deans heart broke into a million pieces. "Is that what you been think bud?" He gasped bringing in his brother to lean on his shoulder as he nodded. "Friends are not ament to touch each other. They are ament to look after each other and be there for them no matter what. They don't touch each other or hurt each other, EVER! That man wasn't you friend at any point. He wanted something from you and he made you think it was normal." He brung Sam's eyes to his before he carried on. "Do you understand?"

Sam nodded and was hysterically crying. Sam had a panic attack a couple of minutes later and John came in with Bobby and they all lead there together trying to be some sort of comfort.

...

...

Authors Note:

I hope you like what i have wrote :)

Please review or comment so i now how to improve on this story and my future stories! It would mean a lot.

Thank you so much :) xxx


	18. Chapter 18

Sam's eyes widened as we noticed the light on the walls of the hospital. It looked perfect. He knew he was getting stared at but he really didn't care much. A long as they were there.

"Good morning, Sam. How are you feeling? A little better?" The doctor asked walking into the room full of Winchesters and Bobby. He turned as quick as he could from the pain and looked at the doctor. He liked him. He was nice but kept distance. He liked that a lot.  
"I'm okay" His voice was harsh but happy because he finished the book Dean got him.  
"That's great because it looks like you are ready to get discharged today, Sam"  
"Really!" Sam buzzed.  
"Yea. Your father has the pills you will have to take one a day to keep your immune system than that, you will have to come back in a while to have a check up but after about 12 o'clock today, your free." The doctor smiled happily.  
John looked at his son and was over the moon when he started smiling. "Okay. That's great. Right.."

They all said Goodbye to Bobby as he got into his truck and was going by himself back to his house to meet the others.  
A loud horn from a car, was heard honking and it pulled Sam out of his hard thoughts, startling him and making him jump about fix feet in the air.

His heart speed up and he shuddered away from the loud, unexpected sound that was now buzzing in his eyes.

"It's alright," Dean murmured. "Let's get into the car."

Sam's eyes were wide open and scared but as soon as he noticed his family his came down pretty quick.  
Dean opened the Impala's door to let Sam into it. As Sam waited for a moment before getting in, he studying the car. He didn't know why but he just wanted to breathe in that moment for a little while.

Dean looked at Sam's fingers closed around his arm. He was making sure he didn't fall, and thought that this was never going to happen again! He will protect his brother now and he will start to be happy. He promised himself.

The car crunched out the hospital.  
The tires humming along and jumping alone the road. It was calming for the boys now.

In the car Sam was looking out the window. As he stare up into the peaceful blue sky, he thought of the people living up there, his mother. He wondered if she wa watchinng hi now. If she was angrey with him, if his father was angrey with him."Dad? Are you mad at what has happened?" He whispered quickly.  
"No! Of course not." He gave an abrupt response. Sam looked across to his father.  
"You are mad... Aren't you?" He asked as he started to panic.  
John felt the panic from across the room. He blew out a fast breath. "No buddy. Not at you," He responded  
"Then how?" Dean was busy sleeping so he couldn't help his brother. He haven't had slept for about a week sob was long gone in sleep land.  
"Im mad at myself bud."  
"Why?" Sam asked, now the tunnel vision was coming back.  
"I'm your daddy. I should've known. I should have been able to help you at the start."  
"I don't blame you dad. I'm just glade your here now. Anyway Its my fault if anything. I trusted him to much." Sam looked down and teared up.  
That's when Dean woke up and couldn't help but speak up. "Hey, Hey. Whoa buddy. We don't play the blame game here. It is HIS fault and no one else's."  
Sammy nodded and looked out the window. "Can we stop. I need to pee." Sam said completely serious which made the John and Dean laugh. He didn't find it funny though.  
"Okay buddy."

They pulled up the car and Sam jump out and went behind a tree while Dean and John stood close by.

Suddenly, Sam got grabbed from behind. The hands didn't feel like Dean or his Dad's so he stared to freak out.  
No! Let me go! No!" Sam fought against the man's grip that he reconised, but it all happened too fast, and suddenly he found himself inside a mans hard grip.  
John and dean grabbed their guns from behind their jeans and ran as fast as they could before they shore the old Head master with his hands on his hysterical brother.  
"Back of or i will break his neck!" He yelled in more of fear than power.  
"Please just let him go!"  
"No. He is my plaything..." He said grabbing Sam's area and holding on untill Sam made a high pitch scream. Begging, pleadying.  
"No! please... " Dean cryed "If you hurt him, if you touch him again. I will kill you, you evil bastered!"  
Sam's cryes could be heard from miles away  
"You can't stop me. " He gigguled. "Ahaha. and you no it. He is m..."and he got cut of by a loud bang that shot through his head making Sam cry louder and fall to the floor with the now, dead body wrapped around him. Sam held his eyes shut after he herd the thunderous boom, ear shattering Pow.  
Dean and John ran as fast as they could their youngest and held him close as possible. John looked up to see Bobby holding a smoking gun.  
"Thank you Bobby. Thank you!"  
Bobby nodded "You don't need to thank me you idjit." and John went back to embracing his upset boys.  
"It's okay Sammy. He can't hurt you anymore baby."  
"I w-ant g-o go aw-aay dada. I d-don't wa-ant to be he-ere any-ymore."  
"It's okay buddy. We will get you safe and well again." He said as huis father picked him up and held him close.  
"I will sort the body out. You get those boys somewhere safe."


	19. Chapter 19

At night sam was having yet another nightmare about the humming gun shot and he could see the burning famished beast devouring everything it came across it.

He screamed and yelled for the help of his family to save him.

"It's okay son. Just calm down."

Sam was feeling like his world was ending. It feels like there is someone tightening a belt around his rib cage and stomach, his heart pounds so hard other people can see it. The top of his head tangles like he had pins and needles jabbing him. Over and Over again, like he have a helmet on way too tight.

"You need to talk to us, Sammy" John pressured but am just shock his head fast.

"No. No!"

"Just tell me, son. Please, just tell me. It will help you."

"Tell us what your feeling" He insisted.

Sam felt the bruising grip on his arms and when he opened his eyes they were wet, and his vision was completely blurred to the point he thought he wa blind for a second.

The borders that held back the memory's were flooding out and shattered to pieces. He could see the man everywhere he went and hear his voice. He was so sick of the head master robbing him of everything that made himself, him. Now he was being felt as a sobbing mess that cried and moaned all day long.

He hated his scars and the marks of his brain of the older man kissing the, but he could never, ever tell his dad.

Sam couldn't speak. gasping sound of his , trying to, breath and the sobs raking him were too powerful. There was nothing coming out of his lips that wasn't sheer broadness that were hiccups and wipers.

John looked into Sam's eyes, really looked into them so he could feel his pain. His son's eyes were a screaming to him for help. He wanted to okay again.

"Why don't you just tell me? I'm your father, Sam. I'm here to help you. You have to trust me to be able to help. Trust Dean and me to help." John voice was soft.

Dean and Bobby exchanged worried looks as they watched the seen unfold, in front of them. Dean' heart was beating out his chest and he couldn't stop it.

"I want to help you, we want to help this to happen though, you need to tell me exactly what he did to you.

Sam felt all his helplessness erupt into a storm of rage, and when he spoke it was a different boy

"Sam…"

Sam felt that and broke free from the hands holding him. He stared into his father's eyes for help.

"NO!" Sam screamed. His chest was heaving up and making him gag. His breathless panting was cursing his lungs to nearly give up on him. He felt the words coming out his mouth but he knew he must have been possessed because it happened before he could even try to stop it coming out "You saved everyone that went past!"

Sam spoke the words like they were an accusation. He wanted them to just stop asking what was going on. He knew he couldn't get over what happened if everyone around him kept nagging him. "So why didn't you save me before he toke everything from me?!"

Sam wiped his face so hard, it went red and sore. Breaking contact with his father he stood up in the room.

John stared his son, and not a single word came to his mouth anymore. He felt completely heart-broken. His baby thought it was his fault he was raped.

"Why daddy? Why didn't you help me?" Sam repeated the question to a speechless, petrified father.

He ran from the room and that's where he slammed the door shut hard.

For long minutes, no one spoke in the living room. Bobby, John and Dean just stood there staring at each other.

"I'll go after him," Dean said, and started making his way upstairs too before John ran up with him.

Bobby looked meaningfully at the stairs as John and Dean was running as fast as she could.

Sam slammed the door shut and sat up against it for a while before a thought came to his mind. He was still shaking, and when he shut his eyes all sorts of visions of the terrible events in his life flashed. He was crying ad begging for the large man on top of him to stop.

He wasn't pretty or a girl. He defiantly wasn't his, but now he is getting turned into everything Mr Brown said he was and he hated it, so much!

"No…" Sam shook his head untill a head ache racked his brain. "I can't… I can't deal with it, I can't…" he mumbled.

He looked around himself and rushed towards his bed, quickly going to his knees in front of his bed. Then, he reached out his arms and pulled out a small back pack bag.

"No…" Sam gritted his teeth."Not his..."

The gun rested calmly inside the little bag, and Sam knew how to use it. He put his hand into the bag and pulled it out.

His whole body completely went numb and he couldn't even talk or walk anymore. he was shivering and trembling like crazy. All he could do was cry and pray for God to forgive him for what he was about to do.

"Sam?" Dean spoke calmly knocked twice, and walking in.

"We're coming in, Sammy" His dad called.

He had barely stepped inside the room when he stopped on his tracks and his heart nearly escaped through his chest.

"Sammy!" John yelled "What you doing?"

Sam turned around quickly when he heard him, but he didn't lower the gun even an inch.

"Sam…put it down," Dean tried to stay calm, but the sight of his brother pressing the gun tightly "Please!"

John made a movement towards him that scared Sam into nearly pulling the trigger.

"Were here now baby. You can speak to us."

"You know you don't want to do that, Sammy." he spoke softly and gently, and tried to get to Sam underneath the intense wave of panic he felt.

"I don't," Sam confessed.

"Then please… give me this gun. Please, Sammy… there's no need for doing something like this," Dean reached out his hand slowly, his palm up, and Sam let his arm relax. He placed the gun on top of Dean's palm and let go in time for Bobby to come around the corner.

"Is everything ok in here?"

Dean shut his eyes for a moment and breathed in deeply with relief.

"Yea just give us a couple minutes, Bobby" he said taking the gun away from his son and putting it on a desk fare away from his youngest.

"I'm sorry," Sam cried. "I didn't mean to. I don't want to," he tried to explain the best he could "But it's just… it..."

"got too much?" John added before coming close to both his son's.

I didn't think I could-"

"Shhh…. It's alright. Come here," Dean pulled him towards himself and let Sam bury his head in his sat in silence for a moment, his hand at the back of Sam's head as he stroked his hair back and wiping the sweat from the boys head.

Sam sobbed. He let his fingers in his head and grabbed onto the shirt of his father and cried into the soft fabric.

"It's okay now, Sam. We got you."

"Sammy, I need you to promise something."

Sam was obviously withdrawn and wary of what he was going to ask of him.

"Sam… I know you don't want to talk about it, and definitely not the way I was trying to make you do. I dont want to force you, but please, son… You gotta let someone help you. You need to talk to someone who can do more than hold you when your sad. We can do that when you need but you need someone else as well. I now you don't want to see anyone. you'll see someone? It'll be someone you like, and feel comfortable with."

Sam hated this idea and it was obvious.

"It's okay, Sammy. It will help."

Sam looked at his father and sighed. "Alright," he said.

"Alright?" John asked, surprised. He didn't think Sam would agree so fast. "Really?"

"Yes. Maybe you're right." Sam hiccupped through the tears that started running again.

"Good," John nodded. "That's good, son. I'm sure it'll help." He held his boys again Sam felt light-headed and sleepy.

"Get some sleep, kiddo. We will be here."

A second later he started to go floppy and was asleep.

"I think he will he okay dad." Dean whispered

"Yea, same. He just needs us." He smiled to his boy and ruffled his hair.

Dean stayed with Sam. He couldn't dare to leave his side after everything. However, John went downstairs, when Bobby asked him how it had gone, John repeated that it was going to be alright. The thing was, he started to believe it.

"He agreed to get therapy," he said smiled

"That's great news," Bobby felt hopefully and smiled.

"Yea, I think it will be okay now. Thank you so much for helping us through all of this crap."

"Were family you idjit. You don't need to thank me!"

They giggled and went back upstairs.

...

...

Authors note:

I hope you're enjoying my writing and please do review and leave a comment, it would make my day.

Thank you so much xxxx


	20. Chapter 20

"NOO!" Sam thrashed. He kicked the sheets off his overheated and sweaty body and moaned loudly.

Dean woke up and opened his eyes.

"NOO! Not again! Please!" Sam struggled with the thought of the older man overpowering him in his dream. He panted loudly, and the smell sweat filled the smell of the room.

"Sam? It's alright… Shhh…" Dean tried to hold him but Sam fought him and screamed louder.

He felt someone trying to hold him still and that triggered another wave of gasping and groaning.

"HMM!" Sam tried to break free, crying. He dreamed of the crackling smoke burning up his house.

"Sam, wake up. You're with me, Sammy. Wake up," Dean whispered, trying to hold him close.

"NO!" Sam groaned and struggled. He whimpered and cried, and used all of his strength to push the man off of him.

Dean tightened his grip on Sam's wrists.

Sam jolted up and looked panicked at his brother.

"Hey. It's okay shhh." he calmed down after a while and started trying to speak again.

"I know he's dead. But I just…"

"I understand. You don't need to explain it to me, alright? I get it," Dean reassured him.

Sam nodded. "Thanks."

He rested his head against Dean's arm and closed his eyes. He soon fell back into a, sort of , peaceful sleep.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sam had been quiet all the drive to the doctor's office. There were no hospitals close by that had a good councerler that were expected in situations like Sam's.

They arrived early at Doctor Jone's office, and John waited with Sam for fifteen minutes in a tiny waiting room. It scared the hell out of Sam. At the best of time he hated small space's but at the moment, he was already scared as hell.

He kept moving, rocking back and forth, running, pacing, just to help his outsides keep up with your racing insides. He was like he was wearing a lead suit and it's so hard to move though. Ahh, he hated this so much!

Sam looked at his hands and tried to ignore his fast heartbeats.

'I'm not talking about the past. I'm not talking,' he said over and over in his mind, and his hands started to feel really cold and it started to spread around his body by the second they were waiting.

Of course he couldn't tell his father he had changed his mind about wanting to speak to someone. It sounded good in theory, but now he was here, we was so scared he thought he might be sick.

Sam did not think a therapist would be able to help, especially because he

wouldn't be saying anything about what happened to him. When he was young or what happened with that evil man.

"Samuel Winchester?" Doctor Jone opened the door and called his name dragging him out, kicking and screaming from his thoughts. Usually, he hated being in his head but it was better than reality at the moment.

Sam and John looked at her and got up really slow

"Hi, I'm doctor Jone," she shook hands with John, smiling

"I'm John Winchester. We talked on the phone."

"And this is Samuel," she looked at him and smiled. "Nice to meet you."

Sam looked at her briefly before looking away, hiding behind his dad. She looked sweet and patient, like a therapist should be he guessed.

He still felt uneasy and his heart was still racing like it was about to jump out his mouth.

John held Sam lightly and John awkwardly looked back at her.

"Is it okay if I call you Sam? Let's go in? I would like to talk to you and get to know you a little," she pointed her arm towards her open office that showed how bright it looked in there.

Sam nodded and walked quickly inside. If he had to go, then the sooner it was over, the better.

"You can pick him up in an hour," she instructed John.

"Right. Thank you. See ya buddy." Sam waved

Sam walked into a neatly decorated room, with a bright green rug on the floor, a window whose blue blinds were shut,

Sam sat on the sofa and heard when the doctor followed him inside and closed the door.

He looked at his hands and realized they were shaky.

Before the doctor could notice it, though,Sam made sure to place them on his lap, unmoving. As she sat on the red and black chair in front of him,

Sam watched her with wide eyes, waiting to see what she would do next.

"How are you, Sam?" Doctor Reece asked, looking at the fourteen year old boy who was obviously uncomfortable.

Sam stared at the sofa for a long while, and then looked at the clock on the wall. He hoped time would pass fast, because nothing was happening yet. Soon though they started to talk about good thing. Books, tv shows and his family which he liked.

They didn't really talk that much about the fire or his old head master. He knew she new but it was never spoken about. That made Sam happy because it meant he could bring it up when he wanted to.

He liked her and kept going back. slowly he started to feel a little normal again. He liked it.

It meant he could go to the shops with Dean or the park. Eventually, he even stated to get the courage to stand in lines.

John and Dean was so happy with the progress he was making and couldn't ask for anything more.

...

...

Authors Note:

Please fo leave a comment or review. It would mean a lot to me.

Thank you for ready xx


	21. Chapter 21

Sam was in the bathroom of some motel. He kind of lost were he was or what they were even hunting, but Dean and John were all up in finding the next thing and killing it. He couldn't be completely sure, however, he thought they had already finished the hunt of a shape shifter.

He looked into the mirror that showed a very pale and skinny boy. The person that got revealed to im looked strangely like himself. Then he realized it had to be him because of the ugly scars that showed themself next to the long and scruffy hair.

The thought of looking like this for the rest of his life started making him hyperventilating and his vision started going blurry and fuzzy. He started to feel a sudden surge of overwhelming fear that came without any warning. Without any warning and without any way to stop it or prevent it.

Then the room started spinning and he felt like she was going to throw up everywhere, but he was going in slow motion and couldn't make it to the toilet or sit down. His whole body was shaking, he couldn't catch his own breath, and his heart was pounding out of his chest like a bullet. He tried to grip the sink and tried his best to calm himself down. Nothing would work though.

"Ahhhhh" He screamed as he sore his scar on the side of his head and shoulder which always showed.

"Le-leave me a-alone!" He shrieked before smashing his hand into the mirror to bloke out the pain of seeing himself to replace it will sharp cuts alone his hand.

"Sam! Open the freaking door, buddy" Dean yelled as John was kicking at the door. Suddenly, it smashed open and Sam was bleeding on the floor.

"Aw Sam! what did you do?" John tried to sound simperfetic but it made no difference to Sam. For him, it felt like he was under water.

Dean went down to his level and hugged him close to his chest but still checking out his poorly hand. "It's okay, Sammy." Dean kept saying as he stroked the boys hair untill he was calmed and the breathing was nothing more than an unsettling hiccup.

"Dean, i think we need to take him to the hospital for stitches. We have no meds and there is too much deep cuts to do it without any."

Dean nodded and took his attention back to Sam. John did the sae before asking, "What happened buddy?"

Sam hiccupped and his eyes turned red from the tears that agitated them. "The scar."

Dean and John looked really confused and Sam sore it.

"I hate it. I dont want to look at myself anymore if i have to see that thing on me anymore."

He froze for a second to catch his uneven breath. "Mr Brown used to kiss it and i can't even stand to look at it, to have it for the rest of my life. I want it gone !" and started to whale again.

Dean hugged him close and gave his dad the eyes to say something because he had no idea what to.

John went to sit next to kiss son. "Hey, Sammy. I didn't want to bring this up because i didn't want you to get put through more than you needed and plus the burns were to new at the time your doctor told me. " Sam nodded and looked at his dad.

"W-what?"

"Well, im not sure how it works but i think they get the skin from somewhere else and they kind of replace the skin on your face and shoulder, that's burned, with the new one from probably your leg or something. "

Sam kind of calmed down now and replied. "So kind of like a, a skin transplant? " and hiccupped a sob at the end of the question.

"Yea, buddy."

"Can we do it dad. Please?" Sam pleaded like he was begging for his life.

John was worried. Why couldn't he just be happy the way he was? "How about we take you to the hospital to get that hand fixed and ask about the operation while were there?"

Sam nodded and tried to get up. "Put your weight on me and i will go all the work , okay?" and he did.

They got into the car with a towel wrapped around Sam's hand and rushed him to the hospital. Dean toke Sam to the waiting room and John got them signed into reception. They where waiting in the waiting room for about 10 minutes before a doctor came out with a clip board. "Sam Winchester?"

John grabbed Sam's hand and went into the room with the doctor leaving Dean alone outside. The doctor did the stitches in the boy's hand, overall he had 23 stitches. Dean was allowed to come into the room just in time for John to ask about the operation.

"...Will he be able to do it?" John asked looking anxious.

There was a long silence and Dean was holding Sam close trying to stop him from completely freaking out.

"Well, the operation you are referring to is called a skin graph. You were right, it is a kind of transplant. The medical way of saying how the procedure is done is, a surgical operation in which a piece of healthy skin is transplanted to a new site on the body."

"Can I do it?" Sam said with tears in his eyes and Dean's hand in his.

"We can. We can talk about a date if you are all sure and want to go through with this." The doctor said calmly.

John looked back to his soon's hazel eyes, "Are you, defiantly, sure you want to go through with this operation, Sammy?"

Sam thought about it for a second. He couldn't deny that he was absolutely terrified of what would happen but, he didn't want to get haunted with the memory's of his tong on his chest and touches on his face. He wanted him completely dead and gone, forever!

"Yea. I really want it dad"

"Why? We love you no matter what. Isn't that enough?" Dean begged. Why would he put himself in danger again.

"Dean, people always say that I was lucky to of survived, but i got left like this. Not them, I got stuck with this curse and i hate looking like this. Luck? That would be us having a mum and being a family again, but that's not possible. If anything, this is the worst luck of anything. Even dyeing would be better because I would be with mum." He started crying now

"Hey, it's okay Sam" the big brother tried to calm him down.

"NO! Do you know what it is like to look at yourself and only see a freak? To only see the bad memories? " Dean looked at the floor, defeated. "Well, i do and i want it to change." he looked at his dad, "Please? I don't want to be like this anymore." Deep body thrashing sobs,moaning with sadness & pain,tears continually pouring out of the young boys eyes, breathing in labored gulps.

John huffed and let out a breath. He nodded while he bit his tong in his mouth,"Okay, Sam."

He went back to their doctor and nodded again. "Okay. Do you all want to come into my office and we can look at the OR schedule to see when we can fit Sam in?"

John embraced his little boy and followed the doctor into a small and white office.


	22. Chapter 22

They went into the office and got a date for the surgery he was going to have. It was in two days. At hell of a lot sooner than anyone thought it would be. He was surprisingly calm about the how surgery.

He knew Dean and his dad was scared for him and completely worried. He knew they thought that they were being really sneaky, but Sam sore the worried glances and looks from the corner of the room. He couldn't blame them, that the way he should be acting before a surgery, but nothing. He just figured it would kick in closer to the day.

On the day of the surgery, John and Dean had upped the level of over protectiveness. Sam was impressed to be honest, how ever thought they could be more protective. I was annoying but it had to be a record.

Sam thought that the fear would kick in by the time he got to the hospital, but it still didn't. He started to think something was wrong with him. Maybe he was just to broken to feel any pain anymore.

They all got to the hospital and signed into a room. He was a bit gutted that Bobby couldn't be there aswell, but he knew that the hunt was important. Also, it was on the other side of the country and would never be able to get here in a couple of days.

"You ready for this Sammy?" Dean asked.

"Yea. I think so. I'm just ready to be normal again." Sam answered getting John's attention.

"You were always normal,Sam."

"No i am special. I am a retard. That's what people always told me and now it doesn't matter because I won't look so weird. I may still have scars after,, but I won't be ashamed to look at myself." He cried

John nodded and let his son be for the moment.

Shortly after, a nurse came in with a massive frown on. It was so weird to see a smile like that in a place as sad as this. Might as well see a camel in the north pole.

"It's time to get you ready for the operation, sweetie. Can your Dad and brother leave for a second and we can get you ready." She gave a simperfetic smile.

Sam nodded slowly and he watched his family reluctantly leave the room.

The nurse helped get him into a hospital gown and set up a machine to monitor his heart.

"Okay. All set to go." She smiled and stepped back to look at her handy work.

"Can i see my family first. Please?"

"Yea. Only for a second though." she spoke with a graty and high-pitched voice. "I will go get them and be back very shortly for you."

Sam grinned in a way to say thank you.

"Hey buddy. Your rocking the gown, dude." Dean smeared and went over to grab is brothers hand.

"Leave your brother alone Dean. How you feeling?"

Sam grabbed onto a hushed breath, "strangely okay. I don't understand why im not freaking out" He admitted thinking he was completely losing his mumbles all over the floor in front of everyone.

"It will probably kick in later, bud."

Sam nodded and was about to say something when the girl with long hair, wavy, and golden brown, falling brilliantly over her chest. The girl's face was milky white, with large dazzling chocolate-brown eyes.

"Time to go, hun" The young woman said and went to the head of the bed close to his father.

"Ok, buddy yu got to go now. We will be here waiting when you wake up. It will be okay."

"See you later, little bro" Dean said and went in for a hug.

Sam nodded, "See ya." His voice was shrill and rough.

"Ok, let's go." The sweet lady said and unlocked the bed to drag him out into the hall and down to the closed of room. Not letting his eyes leave Dean's untill doors forced the line of sight elsewhere.

Thy got him set up again and asked him to count back from 100. "100, 99, 98 97, 96, 9.." and he was drifting off. Then, when he was in-between reality and unconscious, he realized why he was never scared about this surgery. It was because this is what he has waited for since his mum died. A chance to be normal. He will always be weird and less than others when it came to sports because of his asthma, or keeping a calm head in horrible situations dure to hiss panic attacks. However, at least he was becoming ok with himself.

In the waiting room, Dean was yelling at his dad because it wa taking to long.

"Why are they not done yet?!" Dean soke with a ringing voice.

"They will be here soon. It's better if they take their time and not rush and get things wrong. Right?"

He hushed, "Yea, I guess"

They carried on waiting in silence untill the doctor came out holding a fin clip board. Tension was filling up the room so fast, Dean was scared he was going to drown.

"He is okay. It went well."

Dean and John laughed with joy. "Thank God."

"He is mostly just wrapped up in badges from the face to stomach. Some on his leg because that's were we got the new skin from. He will still have some scaring but, we are surten it won't be as survive as the burns." The doctor smiled shaking John's hand

"Now, he is awake, drifting but awake so we can go see him if you follow me." and they did all the way to Sam's room. They entered the overly clean room to se his son completely wrapped in bandages. When he looked closer, he sore his son's big hazel eyes lift.

"Hey, buddy." John said and stroked his son's hair were he could find some.

"hi." he spoke in a monotonous voice while grabbing his big brothers hand.

They had to stay at the hospital for a week because of Sam's health problems. They didn't want oto take any risks on his health so waited untill they were ready to take of the bandages, which happened to be today.

"Ready to see your new face, bitch?"

"I have waited for years. I'm so ready, Jerk." Dean hushed out a laugh.

John was over seeing this scene, "Boys, stop it! Ready to take it of?"

Sam nervously nodded. What id he hated it?

John grabbed his son's hand, feeling the fear vibrate of his skin and made a flat nod to the doctor.

The doctor started to unwrapped the white fabric that held back his face. He squeezed his eyes shut and wippered. His face hurt so much.

"Hey, Sammy open your eyes" He clearly heard hiss big brother say.

When he opened them he sore his face in a mirror that was being held up by his dad. He had a complexly blank face with worried John and Dean because they couldn't read what he was thinking. There was a short silence...

Then Sam spoke. He felt the happiness spread across his face and wa just hoping he wouldn't hit the water and all this would get taken away again.

"I thought i was going to look like Frankenstein or something." Sam cracked a happy smile

"Of course not. If you would have looked like anyone it would of been Frankensteins bride. Anyway, I was worried you would look like dad after it. You lucky heh"

They laughed, but John didn't, who looked deadly serious. Dean was just about to defend himself and tell it was a joke until he started speaking.

"Well i think you were lucky. You look more like Mary. You like it?"

"I think i look good, daddy. Normal at least." His voice sounded fruity and booming for the first time in, well it felt like forever.

"Thank god you look like mum. I would have to dis-own you if you looked like dad, and didn't really want to do that. Have become a little attached to you over the years. " He winked before getting a slap around the back of the head by John.

"HEY!" John grumbled.

"I'm happy dad" He smiled from ear to ear

That brung everything to John. To see your child smile is like to see your dreams come true. "I'm grade"

Dean jumped onto the bed next to his brother and hugged him close. "Your so brave and we couldn't be more proud of you right now. You have been through so much and are still here."

Sam was completely gob stacked at that. We wasn't brave he was just handling. he looked at hiss father who was grinning. "He's right son. Were so proud to have you in this family and with us."

He was astonished by that was just said. He could hardly respond to that with an answer. He had no words for it so he lent of his dad and hugged his family and whispered, "Thank you for always holing me when i need you. I love you so much." A tear ran down his face. It was the only time when it was a happy cry.

"We love you too,Sammy. More than anything"


	23. Chapter 23

"What?! Are you crazy Sammy? School?" Dean yelled

It had been close to a year ago from the incident with the old head master. Sam had got a hell of a lot better. He still had panic attacks and nightmares but he wanted to get back into the real world. Sam thought the best way for getting back to a normal person again was, school.

His face was healing up really nicely. There was still pretty mesed up and didn't look perfect, but considering what he looked like before it was a massive improvement. He scarss on his check, chest and shoulder from the skin graths. He didn't mind them becuse they were mostly just red lines.

He sstill had burns that showed on his face and back but Sam didn't mind as much becuse they were less noticable. It made him feel better to have even a little but of his face looking better. He felt like the young boy that he used to be and wanted to sstart getting into the things be liked before. A way of becoming himself again, a person again.

"I just want to be normal again, Dean. This might be the best way." he begged.

"Why Sam?" John asked. He was calmer but still very scared. "Your were a mess lat time."

"I don't want to live my life in fear anymore. He is dead. I don't need to worry anymore. Yea i will get scared and i will cry, but i will do it anyway because I want to be normal. I just need some support."

"Okay, Sammy if it's what you want."

Sammy nodded as a thank you to his dad.

"Are you being serous. You no what you went through last time."

"Of course i now Dean. I lived it but right now, all i need is some support. I may never be the same as other kids but I can try. Please Dean?"

"You don't need my approval Sammy to do this. "

"No but I want it"

Dean breathed out loudly and went to stand next to his brother, grabbing his and, " Are you absolutely sure this is what you want, bro?"

Sam actually thought about that question for a couple of seconds before giving his brother a small but sure smile to his brother and nodding. "I think I really do"

Dean rubbed his face. This isn't a good idea. He knew it but he would do anything for his brother. So he nodded and said in a quiet but harshed voice. "Okay then."

Sam smiled big and rugby hugged his brother. "Thank you Dean. Thank you."

"I will get you in a school and get you your stuff tomorrow." John said nervously and Sam nodded.

The youngest took a massive breath in. 'This was the start of something I can hope its good.'

It was the middle of the a great Monday morning and the clarity of the sun was punishing in his eyes, but Sam welcomed it.

He stopped for a moment and felt the warmth of the sun tingling on his skin. It was a

good feeling, and he shut his eyes to blink in life. He started school today and he was so nervous he could hardly stand long enough to get out of his bed.

Today he made a choice. Die and live in the past or grab life and start living. He choice life!

The choice to be a good person in a world full of hate.

...

...

Author Note:

I really hope you liked this story!

It was so hard for me to write but i did enjoy doing it.

Please, PLEASE! Leave me a review or a coment becuse i need to know how to improve on this story and on future stories.

Thank you for ready :) xxxxxxx


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